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Irony of coping mechanisms - things i hate, saved me

J

johnram

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Apr 2, 2018
Messages
250
As i learn more and more about my cPTSD, and particularly coping mechanisms, i find my anger towards how i have lived my life reducing.

I get angry at:

- my addictions (various, some stopped and some more managed now)
- time spent zoning out at TV, or the bad food binges
- not being able to express how i was feeling for years
- avoiding dealing with the trauma, not getting better "fast enough"

But as i now come to appreciate that all these methods were my way of coping through a very tough and hard childhood, not getting love and support but being used in many ways, i realise that the full force of the feelings i couldnt have handled before, and as much as i hate the amount of life lost to watching TV, or other addictions, i appreciate they gave me space away and distraction from the enormity of what transpired,

i guess, i am finding some acceptance, finally

sharing, because i hope others can relate
 
D

dewey

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Jan 16, 2019
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1,001
Do you still use any of these coping mechanisms?
 
J

johnram

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Apr 2, 2018
Messages
250
yes but having that understanding normalises them somewhat, but they are still coping

why do you ask?
 
blacksmoke

blacksmoke

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yeah when you become aware they dont have so much power over you. it helps you to choose not to excessively do these coping mechs. and find other ways of coping that are much more healthy
 
J

johnram

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Apr 2, 2018
Messages
250
agreed blacksmoke, getting that awareness has been the challenge, it works when i am in the right frame, but add in some tiredness, some lack of sleep, and a bad meal, the cycles start to tear down ....

finding my way though

how are you?
what has been your strategies, as i sense you have had similar journeys?

thanks for posting, appreciate it
 
C

claude

Guest
As i learn more and more about my cPTSD, and particularly coping mechanisms, i find my anger towards how i have lived my life reducing.

I get angry at:

- my addictions (various, some stopped and some more managed now)
- time spent zoning out at TV, or the bad food binges
- not being able to express how i was feeling for years
- avoiding dealing with the trauma, not getting better "fast enough"

But as i now come to appreciate that all these methods were my way of coping through a very tough and hard childhood, not getting love and support but being used in many ways, i realise that the full force of the feelings i couldnt have handled before, and as much as i hate the amount of life lost to watching TV, or other addictions, i appreciate they gave me space away and distraction from the enormity of what transpired,

i guess, i am finding some acceptance, finally

sharing, because i hope others can relate
beautiful wise post john ram, it is hard to develop compassion for yourself like this, thank you for sharing :hug:
 
blacksmoke

blacksmoke

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2015
Messages
9,385
Location
basketville
agreed blacksmoke, getting that awareness has been the challenge, it works when i am in the right frame, but add in some tiredness, some lack of sleep, and a bad meal, the cycles start to tear down ....

finding my way though

how are you?
what has been your strategies, as i sense you have had similar journeys?

thanks for posting, appreciate it
yeah in as much as the zoning out as life is just too ...ongoing existential crises ...yeah all those little glitches, i too struggle with. but just lately i have been forced to have to deal with these as i used to disappear and surface again. but i can no longer do this disappearing, although this is about to change. but its been at a high cost health wise twice now in just over two years.

self care and limiting time around what i call toxic people. keeping a journal and using that to get insight and then notice what i need to work on next as my pet project lol
 
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