Intrusive thoughts?

H

Hydrophobia

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#1
Let me first say what I think started my PTSD. One time back in 2009 or 2010 I saw a horrible picture on the Internet of a horribly deformed baby on a website that haunted me. The face was so horrifying and alien-like. I remember curling up in a ball on the couch feeling like ice from all of the fear I felt when I saw that photo. I’ve seen horrible things that no person should ever see. I think this is where I got my murderous impulses from.

What’s bothering me now is that at night I have these horrifying images pop up in my head. Images I haven’t seen in years. Most of them are old photos from the Internet. If you Google “ugliest people in the world” that’s where the majority of these images are coming from. There was one video I watched a long time ago called mouth face and it’s this guy with no eyes or nose, just a mouth and he’s biting up and down with some creepy music playing in the background. You can find it by googling mouth face. That also has been haunting me even though I haven’t thought about it in years or watched it in years prior to this happening and I even forgot about most of it. The exorcist is another common thing my fear comes from with these. Sometimes I start feeling cold as if someone’s behind me or I’m being watched or that there’s a ghost nearby. Is this anxiety or something more metaphysical? I also suffer from dissociation sometimes. What is this? Sometimes it’s like I have this vivid imagination that they’re there in front of me and they’re running towards me.
 
Chris Walken

Chris Walken

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#2
Let me first say what I think started my PTSD.

(Okay. I threw in the italics there, for clarity) Has your PTSD ever been diagnosed by more than two medical professionals, trained in that field?

Is this anxiety or something more metaphysical?

Have ye consulted state registered, as qualified professionals, in this field?


I also suffer from dissociation sometimes. What is this?

I rest my case. Rabies ...? Throw out ye computer and go talk to a real, live Doctor. The internet doesn't appear to be doing ye any favours, does it?

So I don't come across as harsh? :hug:

I'm serious, bro'.
 
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Hydrophobia

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#3
(Okay. I threw in the italics there, for clarity) Has your PTSD ever been diagnosed by more than two medical professionals, trained in that field?




Have ye consulted state registered, as qualified professionals, in this field?





I rest my case. Rabies ...? Throw out ye computer and go talk to a real, live Doctor. The internet doesn't appear to be doing ye any favours, does it?

So I don't come across as harsh? :hug:

I'm serious, bro'.
I already have and they’re still working on a solution for me. It’s been nearly a decade at this point that my life has been like this. Ever since January 2011 was when my whole life went down the drain the moment my mom announced her pregnancy to a third kid and started treating me like shit. Also your post is a little bit strange. I can’t tell if you’re trying to be insulting or if that last part is serious. I’ve never been diagnosed with PTSD (and in fact, don’t want to). I’ve just done a Google search and found that intrusive thoughts are a PTSD symptom. I can sometimes self-diagnose because I’m anxious.
 
Chris Walken

Chris Walken

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#4
I already have and they’re still working on a solution for me. ..... I’ve never been diagnosed with PTSD (and in fact, don’t want to). I’ve just done a Google search and found that intrusive thoughts are a PTSD symptom. I can sometimes self-diagnose because I’m anxious.
Well, That's confusing :unsure: But, taking the latter, longer statement at face value; Ye seem to be clearly stating that the only suggestion of PTSD is a result of ye reading google.

That was exactly my point. Have a headache and hit google. I can absolutely guarantee ye, ye'll end up diagnosing yeself with a stage four brain tumour. Everyone does it. All the time. It's why I don't look up how I feel on google any more. And will often ask people if they've been diagnosed by medical professionals, or been on google.

As for me being 'insulting, or serious'? I'm as serious as Real cancer. Rhetorically; Why would I suddenly want to try insulting some random stranger on the internet? Moments after I'd stood beside you and clearly indicated we're bothers in arms too.

No. I do recognise there's something about how I write, which people seem to love, or hate. I don't know what the hell it is though. I can assure ye; My thought processes and what I type are exactly the same as I express down the pub, or on a car journey. And, weirdly, everyone who meets me seems to think I'm fine. No one has a problem with me, face to face.

Dunno.
 
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Hydrophobia

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#5
As for me being 'insulting, or serious'? I'm as serious as Real cancer. Rhetorically; Why would I suddenly want to try insulting some random stranger on the internet? Moments after I'd stood beside you and clearly indicated we're bothers in arms too.

No. I do recognise there's something about how I write, which people seem to love, or hate. I don't know what the hell it is though. I can assure ye; My thought processes and what I type are exactly the same as I express down the pub, or on a car journey. And, weirdly, everyone who meets me seems to think I'm fine. No one has a problem with me, face to face.

Dunno.
Oh okay, sorry if I offended you. I was just a bit confused, since I’ve been on a different website and people sounded just like that when they were being insulting. They would say “bro” and use smileys and stuff like that when they were being insulting. That’s why I got confused because some people do that online sometimes (and even in real life). Sorry about the confusion.
 
Chris Walken

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#6
:eek: Fuck people like that, and the web site they appear on!

No, mate; I can Absolutely assure ye that, with me? What I say is what I mean. No smoke and mirrors.
 
SunnyDaze

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#7
Looking at pictures online cannot cause PTSD.I'm sure they were disturbing but not PTSD.

Trauma causes PTSD,significant trauma.Sorry.

If you continue to have issues maybe a counselor could be of help?
 
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Hydrophobia

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#8
Looking at pictures online cannot cause PTSD.I'm sure they were disturbing but not PTSD.

Trauma causes PTSD,significant trauma.Sorry.

If you continue to have issues maybe a counselor could be of help?
Wow, thank god. I would hate to have something as scary as PTSD or Schizophrenia.
 
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Hydrophobia

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#11
I'm surprised you would say something like this on a mental health forum, where lots of people have the illnesses you just mentioned.
I’m so sorry I didn’t mean it that way. I was just relieved that that wasn’t the case. I would not like to have to suffer from such a terrible thing and I sympathize greatly with those who have to go through that. I wasn’t being sarcastic either. I have been diagnosed with SAD, but I haven’t been diagnosed with PTSD and the thought was scaring me for a little while. Thankfully I most likely don’t have it. I feel great sympathy for those who have to suffer. The only thing I was saying was that I wouldn’t want to suffer like that and I wouldn’t want to see anybody else suffer through that.
 
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