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Intrusive thoughts vs voices? Psychosis or anxiety?

O

ocsg

New member
Joined
Dec 11, 2020
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1
Location
United States
Hey!

I’ve been dealing with intrusive thoughts for awhile now. I am pretty convinced I have schizophrenia even though there is no history of any mental illnesses in my family. I have seen a psychologist and a psychiatrist (prodromal specialist) and neither concluded I have schizophrenia. I guess I’m convinced due to the nature of my thoughts.

Here’s what they look like:
They are always in second person-“you”-or just a fear that I will do something. A lot of self harm ones “kill yourself” and so forth or some various ways of killing myself, hurting others. Also, occasionally thoughts like “the devil is coming for you”. Yes, I am depressed because I’m having these thoughts but I am not suicidal. However, in a way I can feel these thoughts happening ie. bring my awareness because of a cough or itch then I think about harming myself. Awhile ago I was having thoughts “you are Charles Manson”. Mind every thought I had was perpetuated by that subject giving me anxiety beforehand. For example, thoughts about the devil were perpetuated when my intrusive thoughts started by me thinking “how could god plague me with these intrusive thoughts”. I am quite spiritual, or at least was, because these intrusive thoughts have taken away who I am. Also, the Charles Manson ones were perpetuated by intrusive violent thoughts and then seeing something about him that gave a shit ton of anxiety. I mean the list goes on but you can see how I am able to trace the thoughts, you get the gist.

Another aspect that makes me think I’m schizophrenic and I am what I would call intrusive imaginations. My imaginations can “overlay” into my reality. I don’t see anything at all but I can imagine things in proportions to me reality. So I will get random intrusive imaginations, like spiders on the wall or the devil around me. Let me reiterate that I am not actually seeing anything. I am hyper aware of my surroundings looking for hallucinations. Lastly, sometimes when this is happening I don’t really know what I’m feeling but it’s not good.

All of the gives me an immense amount of anxiety. I haven’t been happy in 6 months because of it. I haven’t gone a day without it severely impacting my life. My grades have dropped and my overall motivation has plummeted.

What do you think? Schizo?

thanks
 
L

Lab rat

Well-known member
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Feb 6, 2020
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Location
UK
To my opinion, it sounds like anxiety. Schizophrenia is different. You say you are having intrusive thoughts? That’s anxiety.

I won’t say any more about sz because it sounds like you are sucking this up like a sponge, and I may ,however well meaning, do more harm than good. See a doctor, a few anti depressants may well clear this all up
 
schizodreamz123

schizodreamz123

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Dec 6, 2020
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USA
Hi ocsg
Maybe you could talk with a therapist or doctor to see what they think. I’m sure they will help you through it. They have helped a lot of people and it’s really nothing to fear. I hope your mind quiets and you find peace.
 
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