• Hi. It’s great to see you. Welcome!

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life. Amongst our membership there is a wealth of expertise that has been developed through having to deal with mental health issues.

    We are an actively moderated forum with a team of experienced moderators. We also have a specialist safety team that works extra hard to keep the forum safe for visitors and members.

    Register now to access many more features and forums!

Intrusive Thoughts: Gender Identity

A

Amy123

New member
Joined
Dec 3, 2019
Messages
3
Location
north america
I honestly don't even know where to start. But I'm going absolutely crazy. I have anxiety and obsession thoughts. I'm currently in a panic because I've got the thought that I may be transgender into my head. I'm a twenty-something-year-old female and I've always really loved being female. I often think about how amazing my body is and can't wait to become pregnant one day. But the other day I watched a video where a transman talked about their transition from female to male and now I can't seem to get this out of my head. I've previously had obsessive thoughts about my sexuality but they didn't cause nearly as much distress. I can't get these thoughts out of my head. I think I'm freaking out about the thought of wanting to be a man when in reality I know I love being female. Uhhh I just need my thoughts to shut up.

I constantly have obsessive thoughts but never about being transgender.

I'm obsessive over driving. What If I hit someone and didn't know? What If I'm not driving in a straight line and I'll get pulled over.

I obsess over things I've said.

My most common obsession is thinking constantly about being sick or ill. Once I freaked out for over a year thinking some of my skin was miscolored when I finally went to the doctor they told me nothing looked off about my skin.

But now I'm obsessing over being transgender and I don't know what to do.

I 'm looking at every part of life critically and overanalyzing everything. But the thought of being transgender is making me panic. I know I don't want to be a guy, But then I start second-guessing myself. I couldn't sleep so I decided to join up here and see if anyone can relate or has any advice. I'm not thinking about how nice it would be to have a beard or penis or anything. But then I start to ask myself if I do want those things. None of my thoughts say yes. My thoughts are more like "Oh my god what if I'm transgender but I don't want to be a man but what if I do. You love being a girl. Do I?" Now I'm in a constant cycle of what if, what if, what if.

Please tell me I'm not alone. Also, I have nothing against being transgender.

I mean if I'm having these thoughts does that make me transgnder?
 
A

Amy123

New member
Joined
Dec 3, 2019
Messages
3
Location
north america
After I wrote this I was able to calm down a little and really thought about everything. really reviewing my thoughts I'm beginning to realize that my thoughts are vocalized more in the general idea of being transgendered. I'm worrying more about a fear that this will happen and I don't think this Is actually happening.

I was panicking and nauseous but now I'm pretty good. u

Just to add to my list of obsessive traits. When avengers endgame came out someone spiked to me that my favorite characters died. Now I know this was just a fictional character but my thoughts went crazy. I started obsessing over it could even barely eat or sleep. So now here oi am
 
Top