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intrusive thoughts, dont know what to do

A

AlexW

New member
Joined
Apr 19, 2015
Messages
1
I just joined the site because I feel like I have nowhere else to turn. I am a college student and I recently lost my father over the summer. I have had a bad relationship with my mom ever since she made me go to a therapist for my OCD. My brother is no better because he is just like my mom and has no interest in being my brother. He just likes to lecture me like she does. I felt like my dad was a buffer from them. Since he died things have gone downhill fast for me. I feel like my friends and family are pitying me and treating me like a child. This feeling has caused my friends to leave me behind and I feel like there is nothing I can do. I feel like I am alienating my friends and family. I have times where I cant get out of bed or where I just sit for an hour and think about what my life would have been like if my mom had never sent me to the therapists and put the idea that I was crazy in my head. I have had bad thoughts about doing violent things to my friends and family and I feel like ending my life is the only way to make them stop. I am all over the map and I just don't know what to do anymore.
 
chesterking

chesterking

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 24, 2015
Messages
2,507
What is wrong with therapy? Isn't that a good thing? What do you actually do in therapy? Are you on any anti-psychotic medication?
 
chesterking

chesterking

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 24, 2015
Messages
2,507
I use to have violent intrusive thoughts all the time. What I use to do is think of hell and going to this place of fire forever. This did the trick. Or I use to say 'Devil, get out of my head'. So I use to feel the devils presence within me and then tell him to get out. So you could say the devil is the ego. I use to watch the God channels all the time on satellite tv. Joyce Meyers, Joel Osteen and Gregory Dickow were my favourites.

Lately I've been doing meditation but it takes a while before that works. I have had tastes though of having a OCD violent thought and feelings free mind.

Whether it was my diet or tampered quetiapine tablets or poisoned food, or chemicals released in the air that caused this problem, I don't know.
 
K

kevbob

New member
Joined
Apr 25, 2015
Messages
2
Just to way, you are not crazy but you are suffering. Try and talk to someone you trust and engage with the therapy. And please, dont do anything to hurt yourself or those around you. People DO care about you. I suffer from mental health issues and I understand what you are going through. Good luck!
 
Sparklypurplepaws

Sparklypurplepaws

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 12, 2013
Messages
914
Location
Lincolnshire
Just wanted to sent you a hug x you are in a difficult, horrible place now but things can get better x
 
K

kevbob

New member
Joined
Apr 25, 2015
Messages
2
"Just to way" I cant spell! Again, good luck and support to you AlexW!
 
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