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Intrusive thoughts are back..



New member
Jul 28, 2018
Hi there everybody. I am new here and just posted in the introduction page with my story.. I came here to help others but also to get some help on my battles with intrusive thoughts..

I have had anxiety since I was a child. I was finally diagnosed with OCD and GAD in 2007 after the birth of my first son. The symptom that seems to scare me the most are the intrusive thoughts.. I am so incredibly scared that I am going to go "crazy" one day and actually act on my thoughts. I have had these thoughts (harming thoughts) for quite some time now, and they always seem to center around the people that I love the most. When I was young it was my dad and since giving birth to my one son in 2007 and another son in 2009, they seem to center around them now. I try to tell myself that I've had these thoughts my whole life and never acted on them and it seems to help for a little while but then I think "well what if this time is different and this is the time I do it".

I seem to have a new thought that is worrying me even more so now though.. my boyfriend has a son and a daughter that cone over for visitation twice a month and my boyfriend's daughter is REALLY into paranormal type stuff. Scary movies, ouija board, playing games to bring out spirits, etc... and one day we watched the conjuring and ever since then I've been worried that I can summon a demon. One of my OCD symptoms (since I was a child) was having to wish for something bad to happen to make sure that it wouldn't happen. So now I worry that if I wish to summon a spirit or demon, that it will happen. I have said it a few times so now I'm worried that I made it happen. Nothing has happened yet per say, but I worry it's going to. My boyfriend is trying to calm me down but nothing is working.

All of this anxiety is driving me nuts and making me not sleep well at night and for some reason I keep waking up at 3:00am almost every morning, and my boyfriend's daughter told me that if you wake up at 3:00 that means something (a spirit) is looking at you so now that isn't helping my anxiety at all.

I'm honestly so scared of this, I really don't know how to calm down!. I know these movies that we are watching (like the conjuring) are based on true stories and that has me even more scared. Since my anxiety has come back about a month ago, today has been the worst day out of all if them. It's like I've been in a non stop oanic attack all day. I've even been waking up scared and in a panic attack. I'm planning on making an appt. with my doctor on Monday but obviously it's not helping today :(.

I am in a desperate need of some advice and reassurance. I am freaking out right now and trying not to let this ruin my day :/. If you would like to check out my introduction post, that does have a little more background on my story than what I have added in this post.

If anybody can help me out, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you so much in advance for your help!


Well-known member
Staff Member on Leave
Sep 12, 2013
I don't have experience of OCD, but there are plenty of people arround who do and will be more help than me.