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CelticTwilight

CelticTwilight

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 5, 2009
Messages
166
Location
Nocturnsville UK
Hi everybody,

I have been reading some of the threads to get acclimatised. Although I have been very down this last fortnight after a sustained recovery of six months, I realize there are people with far greater problems than myself.

However, I'd like to share some of what I am going through.

My main factor in long term recurring depression has been unemployment or more specifically the subsequent dealings with a bunch of aliens who call themselves DWP and Jobcentreplus, part of big Liz's government. Like many other people, I am waiting on an ESA medical decision on a 13 week review which is now in it's sixth month. This is now getting to me as I have had previous decisions go against me whilst on Income Support. The medical itself was at the beginning of July and I have telephoned on three occasions across a few weeks, finally stating that I want to make a complaint due to dissatisfaction and the stress this is causing me.

Despite much unemployment I have done a lot of voluntary work. This gets me feeling positive right up to the point the lack of finances kicks in. I was doing voluntary work a few years ago and it is so bad where I live (loud and nocturnal etc), I had to give up work. I took my local council to the Ombudsman but it had a negative result as they basically let them off.

My main physical symptom is exhaustion but there are other factors that suggest it could be either ME, CFS or sleep apnea. I do realize getting such a diagnosis can be rather difficult and what if I got that and then still failed the medical decision because they found something they think I could do.

In July last year I was put on JSA and this led to one of my worst ever relapses. By March I was so desperate I changed GP's and my new doctor immediately put me on the sick and provided a supportive letter for my medical. I am now worried that I am going back on JSA again which means I will have to go into the jobcentre to sign on and get virtually no help.

I actually applied to work for the DWP during this last round of signing on as I thought with my experiences of depression, anxiety and stress together with long term unemployment I would be in a position to be more supportive and understanding than some of the staff attitudes which I have been on the receiving end of. I got through the lengthy application process, medical declarations (about 10 pages that curiously focus on if there is anything you cannot do) to the 3 hour interview process that included numeracy and literacy aptitude tests (which half the 60 or so candidates failed) culminating with a ten minute interview where I did not get to ask questions and which I scored very well on but was failed specifically as going off on tangents.

I have an interview for some more voluntary work this week and a very supportive job coach accompanying me but I cannot for the life of me get myself feeling positive because of how crap my life is.

I aren't asking for advice as I understand we put up specific threads for that but I would be happy to read any and just wondered if anyone else identifies with my general feeling of just not having sufficient energy or concentration for long periods and how this kicks in when we have to show our faces publicly because I have hardly been out of my flat in the last fortnight.

CT
 
A

Ainsworth

Guest
:welcome: CelticTwilight

i havent been out since my doctors appointment last weds and before that erm, cant remember :unsure:

not much anyway! :tea:
 
S

schizzzoid

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 3, 2009
Messages
333
Location
Derbyshire
:welcome: Sorry to hear of your ongoing DWP nightmare...actually I'm not sorry, I'm :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad: See you on the forum.:)
 
CelticTwilight

CelticTwilight

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 5, 2009
Messages
166
Location
Nocturnsville UK
Thanks for the welcome and support.

Thanks for your responses, greatly appreciated.

I awoke much more positive and got up for 9am this morning but energy levels are still down. Therefore, I have concentrated on putting together my Welfare Reform proposal to Demos via A4e. In fact A4e where on the phone first thing and have given me the number of a legal firm who specialize in housing issues. So it's been a goodish start to the week and I am glad I set the alarm.

Thanks again and no doubt see you on the boards.

CT
 
J

jamesdean

Guest
You know ct I'm not sure if its my face that didnt fit in the end but I tried for twelve months to do voluntay worker with this certain company n did nt get any where, I think that they posssibaly wanted much higer inteligent people that didnt show grivences who knows whot the reasons were but It did cause me to give up in the end. Exhaustion I understand can be a sympton of depression in it self though I never allow myself enough credit for just getting through each day fighting off the low moods. Take care regards JD
 
CelticTwilight

CelticTwilight

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 5, 2009
Messages
166
Location
Nocturnsville UK
Ahh JD, now that I can identify with.

In some cases, I think it's to do with expecting voluntary (work experience) staff to be so desperate for a job that they will do anything that is necessary to stay in the good books, overlooking of course the small possibility that the only reason people are actually doing such work is to please benefits agencies or employment organizations etc and not for the love of the company/organization. More likely for that hard to get nugget of the unemployed: a reference for a 'real' job. However, even any true honeymoon period can rapidly come to an end once that voluntary worker discovers that paid staff whose faces fit without even their presence being required are suddenly absent rather regularly and true efforts remain unrewarded from the mysterious golden chalice of paid employment benefaction.:rolleyes:

"Rise Cratchett, a rise? Humbug! I'll be the one that decides who takes the rise in this firm."

There are times when it helps to wear a mask to work.

I can honestly say that I too do not give myself enough credit just for getting through. Maybe there is a sea change in the offing here? Time will tell.

Regards,
CT
 
CelticTwilight

CelticTwilight

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 5, 2009
Messages
166
Location
Nocturnsville UK
Just to say I awoke more positive yesterday and the interview went very well. I am doing a couple of afternoons starting next week. Looks like a friendly office environment where I shall be able to get on with some work. Hopefully I shall get some valuable experience, feel more settled in myself and start applying for jobs again in a few months.
As for my proposal for welfare reform, I have been chatting to a friend about the copyright side of my idea and she seems to have come up with a solution. Doing a blog is apparently free (apologies as I am a bit of a Luddite on such matters), so I can get my details up there and cover some dates so that when I then email A4e to pass it to Demos a) if some civil servant tried to get credit for my ideas... and b) if it is rejected I at least get it 'out there' and maybe gather some momentum.

Take care one and all,
CT
 
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