G
Guy
Member
Hello everyone,
I just joined this forum as my fiancee has, for the last five or six years, been suffering from what appears to me to be a serious generalised anxiety disorder, a phobia of travelling outside our village, anxiety at leaving the house and understandably is depressed about the situation.
I try to be as supportive as I can, but my nature is to be a "fixer". I can fix anything, but I must admit, I'm more than a little stumped with this one
I also try to be as positive and upbeat, but it's hard to keep that smile going all the time.
I'm ten years older than my partner, and we have a wonderful little boy together, now seven years old. My wife (I call he my wife, though we're not yet married) so wants to have another child, as would I, but we both fear that 1- pregnancy while on medication would not be a good thing, and 2- a second child with a depressed/anxious parent would make things very hard on us as parents, and on the child. Being a decade older than my fiancee, time is also marching on, and I don't want to be a sixty year old dad, still telling the kids to clear up their room! So we'd be struggling with another child if we have it before my partners condition clears up, and also if we have it later than that, I'd be a particularly old parent. This "hopeless" situation is having a big effect on my her - especially as medically there's nothing stopping us having a child right now!
We so want to get married as well, but it would be silly of me to make wedding plans when she can't even sit in the car with me to go to tesco's! Of course, she asks me "what can I possibly love about her", and I have to admit, it's getting harder and harder to answer - which makes me feel awful.
She has had a course of CBT, and seemed to be making progress - then the course ended (14 weeks and then you're on your own!) She is currently on 25mg of Sertraline (after trying and no agreeing with Citalopram, among others).
I was off work last week and often found her sitting around the house in silence while my wee boy was at school. That can't be good for anyone, surely!
She feels terrible that her condition is apparently affecting our relationship, as well as adversely affecting our son's personality.
She's had those thoughts, though I don't think she'd ever do anything silly.
Being a partner of someone with this condition is hard, though i've no doubt it's nothing compared to having the condition yourself. But trying to make sure it doesn't affect our son, at the same time as being the sole breadwinner, certailny takes its toll (maybe I should try a couple of her tablets!).
I'm just looking for a little support somewhere... anywhere! My problem is that I need practical advice to make the situation better, not just the pat on the back and the "hang in there" treatment.
many thanks
Guy
I just joined this forum as my fiancee has, for the last five or six years, been suffering from what appears to me to be a serious generalised anxiety disorder, a phobia of travelling outside our village, anxiety at leaving the house and understandably is depressed about the situation.
I try to be as supportive as I can, but my nature is to be a "fixer". I can fix anything, but I must admit, I'm more than a little stumped with this one
I also try to be as positive and upbeat, but it's hard to keep that smile going all the time.I'm ten years older than my partner, and we have a wonderful little boy together, now seven years old. My wife (I call he my wife, though we're not yet married) so wants to have another child, as would I, but we both fear that 1- pregnancy while on medication would not be a good thing, and 2- a second child with a depressed/anxious parent would make things very hard on us as parents, and on the child. Being a decade older than my fiancee, time is also marching on, and I don't want to be a sixty year old dad, still telling the kids to clear up their room! So we'd be struggling with another child if we have it before my partners condition clears up, and also if we have it later than that, I'd be a particularly old parent. This "hopeless" situation is having a big effect on my her - especially as medically there's nothing stopping us having a child right now!
We so want to get married as well, but it would be silly of me to make wedding plans when she can't even sit in the car with me to go to tesco's! Of course, she asks me "what can I possibly love about her", and I have to admit, it's getting harder and harder to answer - which makes me feel awful.
She has had a course of CBT, and seemed to be making progress - then the course ended (14 weeks and then you're on your own!) She is currently on 25mg of Sertraline (after trying and no agreeing with Citalopram, among others).
I was off work last week and often found her sitting around the house in silence while my wee boy was at school. That can't be good for anyone, surely!
She feels terrible that her condition is apparently affecting our relationship, as well as adversely affecting our son's personality.
She's had those thoughts, though I don't think she'd ever do anything silly.
Being a partner of someone with this condition is hard, though i've no doubt it's nothing compared to having the condition yourself. But trying to make sure it doesn't affect our son, at the same time as being the sole breadwinner, certailny takes its toll (maybe I should try a couple of her tablets!).
I'm just looking for a little support somewhere... anywhere! My problem is that I need practical advice to make the situation better, not just the pat on the back and the "hang in there" treatment.
many thanks
Guy
Last edited:
