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Intimidated

valleygirl

valleygirl

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 5, 2015
Messages
1,974
Location
Valley of dry bones
I am realizing that I feel threatened by my professor because she is highly successful and I feel like a loser. I have accomplished nothing of value or importance in my life. I feel like a failure. I'm not married, don't have children, don't have a career, I'm still not financially independent, and I am not confident in myself or my abilities. I feel intimidated by successful women, and my prof is one of those over-achiever types works for the government and is highly sought after.

Today is not a good day. Still feeling dopey and not sure if it's the buspirone or the insomnia due to the buspirone. I got up late, all I've eaten is a bowl of bran flakes, feel like I have mush inside my head instead of a brain. I'm hungry, but I don't feel like eating. I don't feel like cooking and messing up my nice, clean, tidy kitchen, which is only clean because I had to clean up my apartment for fire alarm inspections which took place yesterday, not because of any internal motivation. I am realizing that my train of thought is on the slippery slope back into despair and suicidal ideation.
 
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Deliah

Guest
Hello, There is no such thing as a slippery slope. You can change what you are doing right now. Eat, it doesn't matter if you fancy it, it going to help and also turn you attention to something else by creating the meal. Don't compare yourself to others. In your eyes, she is confident and successful, but you are also equals. We all are. Don't dwell on what you haven't got. Look at what you have. A home, opportunities to come. The opportunity to make a nice meal for yourself now, and then to clean your kitchen. You can put music on as you do. Forget the slippery slope, it is of your own making and you have the power to do something different. D x
 
Anime-Alchemy

Anime-Alchemy

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2013
Messages
4,585
Location
On a comet
I agree, your both equals. A rich person and a poor person have their differences but in my eyes they are equals as people, as human beings.

I hope you feel better soon, don't give up because we here at the forums haven't given up on you :)
 
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echo66

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 21, 2014
Messages
226
Valleygirl, being professionally sucessful doesn't make your Professor a better or more valuable person than you. She might have a career, family etc, but you don't know if she is truly happy in her life, she might be totally miserable... a lot of people put on an act when really they are faking it.

I'm sorry today is not a good day for you, it is hard to feel motivated when you feel crap, but despite this, yesterday you managed to clean your apartment for the inspection - it doesn't matter what the motivation was, you still did it, that was an achievement considering how rubbish you've been feeling.

Can you try to distract yourself from the dark thoughts? Try to keep yourself physically and mentally busy if you can and you might find that the thoughts lose their impact. Remember, they are just thoughts. You don't have to act on them.
 
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