Interpersonal Problems

B

bscott

New member
Joined
Dec 11, 2013
Messages
1
#1
Hi all,

I'm fortunate to now finally be in a position where I am mentally stable - medication seems to be working, and I'm generally emotionally-balanced with what I presume to be normal, everyday ups and downs.

However, I have this feeling/sense of disconnection that persists regardless of whether or not I am stable. I deeply desire to connect with people, to have that sense of togetherness, but it just seems to elude me. I was tested a few years ago for an Autistic Spectrum Disorder, but was only just above the threshold for diagnosis. I don't seem to have a problem with picking up social cues, rather, I seem to be overly sensitive to and misinterpret them in such a way that causes me to feel substandard and inferior. I also have persistent periods of really low-self esteem, which are amplified during depression, and diminished during hypomania/mania.

I do experience anxiety and a certain level of paranoia, but it's not always consistent.

This feeling of disconnection is pretty much consistent across all of my relationships, including friends, and has been since I was very young. I always felt like I was 'treading on eggshells' in order to keep the other person happy. It does sound a bit dramatic in writing, but I really have no idea where this issue might stem from, i.e., part of bipolar or something else, or where I might go to address it.
 
J

jack black

Active member
Joined
Jun 2, 2019
Messages
32
Location
USA
#2
welcome to the club. i suspect i inherited some autistic traits from my father (who would not look at eyes while talking; quite a clue). alternatively, it was my childhood where i spent most of my time with adults or older children and i was not a regular kid. one can overcome some of that with time, but one will never be fluent or intuitive at it.
on the other hand, bipolar (i prob inherited it from my mom) gives me extreme feelings and executive functions defect (like ADHD).
 
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