internet content triggers [TW incest, pedophilia, csa]

ThinkInYellow

ThinkInYellow

Member
Joined
Feb 21, 2019
Messages
20
Location
Canada
#1
For some ungodly reason incest has become a hot button debate in this decade of our lord and savior Jesus Christ. I don’t know how we stepped into a dimension where people confidently argue publicly that incest and pedophilia are something less that heinous but here we are. Twenty nine-fucking-teen and we have people ready to die on this hill. Half of our media has incest plot lines, we have TedXtalks arguing that pedophilia is “natural”, hundreds of people draw siblings kissing and argue with people online that there is nothing wrong with that.

I hate complaining about people on the internet. I hate telling people what they can and can not do. But if I have to spend one more minute dissociating and having flashbacks because some twenty seven year old on tumblr thinks that incest isn’t bad I’m going to lose my mind. More than I already have in my personal hell of therapy, medication, mental illness, and all of the life destroying shit that’s been thrown at me as a result.

I don’t care how innocent a person thinks that incest shipping can be. I don’t care if they think that being adopted or step-siblings makes it better. It doesn’t. Consensual incest is almost guaranteed to be the product of neglect/abuse/etc. and non-consensual incest, I mean, fuck! shouldn’t even need to have to say something more than “non-consensual”.

I know the world is not my “safe space”, but why should the internet be more of a safe space for someone who has a fetish for sibling fucking than the person who sometimes can’t be touched in passing without proceeding to have a melt down because sibling fucking ruined their god damn life before they were old enough to really understand what made the situation feel so wrong?

I’ve seen this shot on Facebook, on reddit, on tumblr, on google images, on tv, in comics, in every place that I god damn look. And it’s not just triggering me all the fucking time but it’s starting to make it difficult for my past to not be outed. There’s only so many panic attacks you can have before people start to look at you and each other funny.

I don’t deserve this. Other survivors don’t deserve this. And our culture should not be promoting these heinous and life ruining crimes as fetishes to be defended in front of the whole world. They shouldn’t even really be defended. Don’t feed your fucking demons.

I’m sorry. This is mostly just an angry rant. But no one knows about my history and my therapist was sick today. This is the only safe space I have to just be angry when I need to.
 
BPDevil

BPDevil

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 7, 2018
Messages
541
Location
Hell
#2
paedophilia normalisation triggers me as well, people are starting to say that we should treat it as a 'normal' sexuality, how about f'ing no?

i don't expect much from humanity anymore, already tried to remove myself from it too many times
 
ThinkInYellow

ThinkInYellow

Member
Joined
Feb 21, 2019
Messages
20
Location
Canada
#3
paedophilia normalisation triggers me as well, people are starting to say that we should treat it as a 'normal' sexuality, how about f'ing no?

i don't expect much from humanity anymore, already tried to remove myself from it too many times
Part of what infuriates me is that losing my trust in the world and attempting to remove myself from it are things that I have already done because of him. I’m so tired of being the one to lose because of what he did. I refuse to be bitter and isolated on his behalf anymore! Why should he hurt people and then be the one to live a happy normal life?

That’s the part that I struggle with the most day in day out. Is struggling while the people who hurt me seem to be fine. I think it’s part of what makes me so damn angry about people who normalize and are apologizers. Because they just help the people who do this get away with it. I’m tired of having to fight to not have someone else’s actions to who I am, what I can and can’t do, control how I feel, how my body reacts to any incoming information. I’m tired of feeling like even posting here, even BEING here is just him winning. I never wanted to play the game. So how am I still losing? And I know power of thoughts and reframing and my recovery being for me and blah blah blah. But I never should of had to be here. And fighting to rethink everything you think every day is fucking exhausting. Today I just want to be angry.
 
C

Chris Walken

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 28, 2014
Messages
109
Location
Eire
#4
Sometimes, a fucking good rant is what we need.

Or a Librium.