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Intentionally inducing psychosis

F

Foolenny

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Dec 21, 2016
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I want to find out if anyone else has intentionally induced psychosis in themselves to study the spirit, mind and body.

I have found a drug which causes mania.
3-MEO or something like that.

I was taking it with my girlfriend, writing contracts detailing how long we would go in to psychosis.
At the end of the specified contract time, one of us would "ground ourselves" in the material world and help pull the other out.
We wanted to study our own psyche, our addictions and mental health.

We ended up taking Concerta (like Ritalin) to focus and stay awake for days on end.
We spent weeks in her bathroom -seriously malnutrishing ourselves to further our psychosis.
We wrote everything on paper and stuck it to the walls to remember our scattered thoughts.

We ended up surrounded by Shadow People, whom we believed influenced us, and are experienced by all -who open themselves to them.
These Shadow People are a common symptom of meth induced psychosis.
Meth being present in the Ritalin we were abusing.

She was able to see and hear them, but I was not.
I believe she fed to much into the belief of them as more than a symptom of the drugs and was developing Schizophrenia.
I saw them in a way too, but more of just knew they were there so strongly I could relay where they were- with her agreeing.

I believe that, as energy is never created or destroyed, as someone dies -there "energy" lives on as these shadow people.
They retain qualities of the people they once were, and try to influence life through manipulating energies to have people rely messages or actions in the material world.

Looking this stuff up, there are a lot of spiritual relations to these experiences and I'm wondering if anyone else has anything to add
 
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NicoretteGummed

NicoretteGummed

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Are u thinking of trying to find god in a pill???

Believe me it doesn't work.

At the very best it leads to nowhere and at the worst to Insanity and Death.

And if the sound of insanity still sounds attractive then you need to spend a bit more time on the forum to see the pain that goes along with that.

Other than that-Merry Chrimble. :)
 
F

Foolenny

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I do not believe in many mental illnesses personally.
I do not mean to belittle many people's struggles. This is my own belief.

I believe many mental illnesses are a spectrum experienced by everyone -to certain extents.

As you become more aware of a condition, feeding into believing you have it- you have it.
Someone can be depressed at one time, and happy another.
Only in labelling it "bipolar" do you try to rationalize a regular human condition and lay a foundation for it to dictate your actions.
You may experience symptoms, and they may be seemingly out of your control, but it believing they're out of your control to you give them the power to control you.
 
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ninnie

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Okay, I am a person who certainly makes their problems a bigger deal than they should be in a way you described. But please don't use bipolar as an example, it is a really poor one.
 
NicoretteGummed

NicoretteGummed

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Words are a completely inadequate tool to convey the realities of Mental Illness.

You have to have had it to understand it's realities and horrors.

There's no point anybody trying to get across to somebody who's never had what its like.

Its futile.

I hope you never understand it because then it will be too late.
 
NicoretteGummed

NicoretteGummed

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I'm not bi-polar by the way but depressive-Schizo-affective.

I too sometimes question the integrity of those with bi-polar who seem to monopolise mental health budgets.
 
F

Foolenny

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I have what people refer to as bipolar and have been in heavy heavy psychosis numerous times.
I've been suicidally depressed.
I just have realized that it's normal, and have learned to find comfort in the bad days.
Using it as an excuse not to work on yourself is bullshit though.
 
NicoretteGummed

NicoretteGummed

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Most people on here would not disagree with that.
 
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ninnie

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Ah okay, I think I understood you wrong. Sorry. Of course it's only you who has to make things happen to be able to live a better life with your illness. In the end it's up to you and no one else.

EDIT: but it's not 'normal'. It's normal for you and normal for other people struggling with the same stuff, but other people's brains are different.
 
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ninnie

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But what is normal is that everybody has their problems in life. For someone it's getting through with bipolar, for someone it's something else. Of course some have it 'easier' than others, but no one gets an absolutely perfect life.
 
Kerome

Kerome

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I think what you've done is both brave and foolish. Of all the people who end up in psychosis only 25-33% make a full and complete recovery, you could very easily have ended up with a permanent psychotic disorder of some kind.

That said, your story kind of reminds me of my own. Five years ago I was in a difficult and very stressful time, and I was basically done with material, corporate life. All my life I had been in contact with beliefs and stories of enlightenment, and I said to the universe, let it come, if there is anything I'm ready to experience it now. I basically dared the universe to come to me. A month later I was having visions, hearing voices and getting close to what my doctor called psychosis (and without using any drugs).

Since then I've experienced many things, if you want to compare my experiences with yours I keep a partial journal on this forum in this thread:

https://www.mentalhealthforum.net/forum/thread124951.html

I don't entirely agree with your conclusions about "shadow people", although you may be in the right track. In my experience it is closer to the truth to say that there are various energy types, and that beings of these various energy types interact with us and support us, and sometimes compete with us. Some of them help maintain us in our sleep, but generally becoming aware of them is not a good thing, our attention and desires warp them away from their duties.

Anyhow I hope you make a full recovery now that you've ceased your experiment!
 
Poopy Doll

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I want to find out if anyone else has intentionally induced psychosis in themselves to study the spirit, mind and body.

I have found a drug which causes mania.
3-MEO or something like that.

I was taking it with my girlfriend, writing contracts detailing how long we would go in to psychosis.
At the end of the specified contract time, one of us would "ground ourselves" in the material world and help pull the other out.
We wanted to study our own psyche, our addictions and mental health.

We ended up taking Concerta (like Ritalin) to focus and stay awake for days on end.
We spent weeks in her bathroom -seriously malnutrishing ourselves to further our psychosis.
We wrote everything on paper and stuck it to the walls to remember our scattered thoughts.

We ended up surrounded by Shadow People, whom we believed influenced us, and are experienced by all -who open themselves to them.
These Shadow People are a common symptom of meth induced psychosis.
Meth being present in the Ritalin we were abusing.

She was able to see and hear them, but I was not.
I believe she fed to much into the belief of them as more than a symptom of the drugs and was developing Schizophrenia.
I saw them in a way too, but more of just knew they were there so strongly I could relay where they were- with her agreeing.

I believe that, as energy is never created or destroyed, as someone dies -there "energy" lives on as these shadow people.
They retain qualities of the people they once were, and try to influence life through manipulating energies to have people rely messages or actions in the material world.

Looking this stuff up, there are a lot of spiritual relations to these experiences and I'm wondering if anyone else has anything to add
Foolenny, what you are doing to yourself is unnecessary. Your whole theory of what happens when you die is badly affected by the drugs you are abusing. If you want real spiritual experiences, you can have them. But what you are doing is psychotic.
 
F

Foolenny

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Dec 21, 2016
Messages
17
Yea! I'm down.
I have filled 2-3 journals from that time.
I'm now straight edge, and felt more "myself" than ever.
But I completely dissociated from society during hat time- and was to all eyes- insane.
My writing are hard for even me to understand now.
The best way to try to understand what I was experiencing, in my opinion, is through art
And poetry,
It's made me decide a career in art and poetry, and schooling in mental health and
Transpersonal-psychology.
I believe these "energy beings" have more to them.
I like to think of my psychosis as a "Spiritual Emergency" -which is a real term.
The drugs and stress induced psychosis was legit paranoid meth-psychosis, but in the times after that.
I was able to kinda induce it just through introspection, and kinda grasping at it and yanking it back.

But I ended up not nuriting my physical body, I was so interested in what I was experiencing :/
I lost over 40lbs and od'd a few times on drugs.
I've now left my research to become more healthy, and have been gaining weight back.
But I can't go back in to the place I was.
It was so interesting, terrifying and idk.
I felt like I was less important as an individual, but more aware of how we're all connected as a whole.
Now I've severed my awareness to this world of energies, and almost want to dwelve back in to drugs to find it again.
But I'm choosing meditation as an alternative- but it's slow and healthy and not fun!
 
F

Foolenny

Member
Joined
Dec 21, 2016
Messages
17
I'm going to say this now, as a reply to everyone giving their opinion in the form of a judgement.

I'm going to completely disregard what you're saying if it's non constructive.
Just telling me it's dangerous, wrong and that I should stop what I'm doing.
You are just giving your judgemental opinion, which I will disregard.

If you want to be a part of a mature, adult conversation, you can suggest an alternative means to my "problem"
Quit thinking telling me to stop is going to be helpful.
 
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