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Integrated or a death sentence: The life of Mister.B

Mister.B

Mister.B

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Jan 1, 2013
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Coventry, England
So being integrated is cool and all, but as I've touched on a few times recently....Not having the others has left a gaping hole in my life, especially as I'm co-conscious.
What if, however, it also leaves a hole in the lives of other people?

What if I'm the worst 'other', the host?
The others are all (bar one) better people than me.
They function better.

Maybe, I'm making no sense. I dunno.

FYI - I'm *actually* integrated because I still haven't solved any trauma (If there is any!) or anything, I just didn't know a better word for the stage I'm at.
 
L

lovagemuffin

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Oct 21, 2014
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hey think the more people you've got around you the better. just beause a person fucntions better than you doesn't make them "better" wallstreet gang are all rolling in money and some of them are complete ****s LOL
 
L

lovagemuffin

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Oct 21, 2014
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there isn't really a pecking order people try to pigeon hole you I say fuck them.
 
Mister.B

Mister.B

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I'll live to fight another day.
I've just got to learn to live for all of us.

I'll show everyone.
 
BlueBerry

BlueBerry

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Sep 13, 2014
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Big Blueberry flavoured hug for you sweetheart :hug5:

I think you're awesome BTW. There's no way the others are more awesome than our Mister B xxxxx :hug:
 
Lincoln1990

Lincoln1990

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Jan 18, 2013
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hey you!

you are amazing. you are doing amazing. you will continue to do amazing. I love you and you can PM me if you need to talk. im here for you <3
 
Mister.B

Mister.B

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I thought the others were supposed to take over if I was in emotional pain?!

Oh wait, no they've gone away.

They medicate me to take away the others but not the pain.

This is bollocks.
 
Mister.B

Mister.B

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There were times when I was ill last week that when I was throwing up that I lost time, so that's hopeful.

Crippling mental anguish = Nothing

Vomiting = Transitioning
 
Gajolene

Gajolene

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small town Ontario, Canada
So sorry for your anguish over being integrated now. Is your therapist helping you with this at all Mr. B, with some specialized form of therapy? Something in your mind must think your strong enough now to handle whatever it is thats buried on it's own now. Without having to section off into the others. I sincerely hope in time it will feel more complete being integrated now. And not have this gaping hole you feel now. Huge huge huge hugs mr B
 
Mister.B

Mister.B

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Messages
8,923
Location
Coventry, England
So sorry for your anguish over being integrated now. Is your therapist helping you with this at all Mr. B, with some specialized form of therapy? Something in your mind must think your strong enough now to handle whatever it is thats buried on it's own now. Without having to section off into the others. I sincerely hope in time it will feel more complete being integrated now. And not have this gaping hole you feel now. Huge huge huge hugs mr B
I'm not actually diagnosed with DID or DDNOS or anything.
I have had to completely deal with my Dissociative symptoms on my own, because when I first tried to tell the people who handle my treatment they just glossed over it.
They're more interested in the thoughts, and the fact one of my others (but they just refer to him as 'the thoughts') is supernatural.

I later told them how I had transitioned into my little and conducted an entire thread here.
They talked with me about it for like 3 or 4 minutes and then nothing.

DID is something people don't have round here, apparently.
 
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Mister.B

Mister.B

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Coventry, England
Interestingly enough, I lost time once while at an appointment.
Nothing ever came of that either.
 
Gajolene

Gajolene

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small town Ontario, Canada
Wow that must of been so disheartening for you, nothing I hate more than when medical professionals won't take your symptoms seriously and diminish or gloss over them. I went years between doctors appointments and mh counselling over that exact same thing several times. If I were you I would insist on a mh specialist in this area of counselling if that is possible where you are. Keep fighting for the right help and don't be afraid to cancel the wrong type of help. It's unfortunate it is sometimes such a long and slow process to find the right doctors and therapists for you. Keep up your courage, it's your health and it's worth fighting for.:hug1:
 
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