Insecurity

J

Jasoncorb

New member
Joined
Dec 29, 2017
Messages
2
Hi,

I have recently split with my girlfriend of 2 years of which I have been dumped (I have never been dumped before), it's been 3 weeks and I'm trying my best to get over her, I have good days and bad days today being one of the bad, I keep getting really deep thoughts of insecurity, a little background of previous relationships and encounters with woman. Every time a relationship has happened has been due to the fact that a woman has chucked them self at me when they have been drunk, as I'm getting slightly older I really cannot be bothered drinking anymore. Whilst this is my wish it also leads me to believe that I'll never find someone again as I have no experience approaching woman due to the above and is leading me down a path of real insecurity. Is there any way to combat these feelings?

Thanks for your help
 
exyz

exyz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 14, 2017
Messages
2,773
Hi Jason,

:welcome:

Two years is quite a while to be with someone and have feelings for. I think how you are feeling is how many people feel when a relationship breaks up. There is a feeling of loss of the person and the togetherness.

It is difficult not to over think other relationships too. My advice would be to recognise that it is ok to be upset and sad. It does not mean that there is anything wrong with you as a person at all. Life is pretty tough on us at times and often we have done nothing to deserve the bad times thrown at us.

Try and be kinder to yourself. Take each day little bit by little bit. Try and distract yourself. Do you do sport, gym, have anything else you can get involved in for now?
Join in here for a while and talk if it helps.:)
 
J

Jasoncorb

New member
Joined
Dec 29, 2017
Messages
2
Hi exyz,

Thank you for your response,

I was already an avid gym user in my relationship 6-7 times a week as it doesn't take me much to get up and go as I love it, I lose 8lbs due to the break up and not eating as I'm usually used to eating 4000 calories per day (I'm 6 ft 3 and 15.5 stone). I have been continuing with the gym however it's only taking up maximum 2 hours of my time so I am left with a substantial amount of time which I'm left thinking, I'm trying to do a lot more with friends which is also helping. A bit of background on my ex is she is over in Australia visiting family (I was meant to be going) and she has been out every single weekend.

Thanks for your response
 
exyz

exyz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 14, 2017
Messages
2,773
Hi again!

The gym is good to work a lot of this stuff off. I had a friend who did a lot of running. Then his wife broke up with him and I remember he told me he ran and ran. But he forgot to do his route so that it led him back to where he started! So another mate had to go and collect him from miles away!:doh:

That's a lot of weight to lose. And the fact she is in Australia and you were going is hard to bear I am sure. Try and stay off FB or see what is going on as it will mess your head.

You sound a great person and it is natural to feel so upset over the loss of a relationship. Please don't think badly of yourself. Everyone here on the forum I am sure has felt like this at some point over a break up.

So you are in excellent company here, join in wherever you like. We are on your side. :)
 
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