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Insecurity and paranoid

T

Tammi oh

New member
Joined
Nov 17, 2014
Messages
2
Hi guys,

Recently I got very insecure and paranoid about my bf. Not about him cheating on my but paranoid about him loving lesser / care lesser. However, he did not change at all, he treat me like how he used to. I started to feel paranoid 3 weeks ago. I started to give him cold shoulder and attitude.. I thought I can get his attention but instead I stir up this shit. I started to have imagination about him not loving me but in fact he loves me a lot. I must stop this kind of unhealthy thoughts. It's my mentality that I am dealing with now. I must stop being paranoid, and move out of this phase. Can anyone tell me how to do it?
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,531
Location
The West Country
Is there anything that happened to trigger this paranoia?
It sounds like you need to build up your self-esteem a bit - I hope you don't think that sounds patronising. I mean it to be helpful. I think the stronger you are in yourself and the more you acknowledge your own beauty, the more secure you will feel.

To be fair, i'm sure it's difficult for you that your boyfriend hasn't changed his behaviour in order to make you feel reassured. Is there something in particular you wanted him to change? Perhaps the reason he hasn't done things differently is because he just doesn't know what you need.
 
T

Tammi oh

New member
Joined
Nov 17, 2014
Messages
2
Thank you :) nope, i didn't want him to change anything. In fact he is a great bf, I got nothing to complain about. I just can't feel the "love" as compared to last time. I just don't feel important or wanted. But he is the same all along.. Idk how did I get this kind of thinking. Maybe I am expecting it to be like how we just started? This situation got worst after I gave him cold shoulder for one week. And I got v paranoid in the following week.. We "quarrel" over it for the fourth time already. Both of us know this existing problem. But I'm making it worst. I'm making the both of us tired. I want to stop this :( I don't want to lose him.. I know the first is to stop overthink but... Sigh
 
Davey Blueeyes

Davey Blueeyes

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 22, 2013
Messages
756
Location
Isle of Wight
Paranoia is just about the worst thing I experience, it can be so all consuming.

If it helps, paranoia has always proved to be just that, not reality.

I would massively recommend Mindfulness, it has helped me a lot. I still lapse often but overall I have a much better awareness of things.
 
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