Initiating conversations ?

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firemonkee57

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#1
Something I don't do. I just never know what to say , or when there's an opening to do so. I mean you can't just go up to someone and start talking to them,can you ? Perhaps there's non verbal signs that give you a pointer re initiating,but if there are I'm clueless as to what they are.
 
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firemonkee57

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#2
It's good, but surprising to see, that no one else has this difficulty.
 
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Boring

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#3
i mean, i usually don't initiate conversations, i guess. i can't remember the last time i had a conversation with anyone outside my home. most, if not all, of my communication takes place online where the topic of discussion is usually already determined long before i start or join conversations.

i used to initiate conversations a lot, but nowadays i feel insecure. i've been ousted from many communities, so i dont like conversing as much as i used to. if anything, i just join conversations online. conversing offline is too unnecessarily endangering for me.
 
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pepsimaxfan

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#4
I am the same, I find it difficult to do the whole small talk thing, sometimes I actively avoid my neighbours to prevent a conversation, or I will see someone I know in a supermarket and try and avoid them because I do not know what to say, and unfortunately I can't hide my nerves very well. The only time I kinda do it is when I have a few beers, feel a little more relaxed.
 
Anime-Alchemy

Anime-Alchemy

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#5
I can make a conversation but generally or mostly i notice that the person i am having a conversation with becomes uninterested after like 3-5 seconds?

I hope you don't put pressure on yourself to make conversation. Why can't people start the conversation with you?
 
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Boring

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#6
well nowadays people are paying for others to talk with them. so maybe money could be a solution. it's probably a shallow solution, but alas.

then there's family that's usually always there to talk with.
 
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Kerome

Kerome

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#7
I mean you can't just go up to someone and start talking to them,can you?
Well you can and people do... it’s normal to approach a stranger with whom you’re initiating a conversation from the front or the side, not from behind. This allows them time to prepare and size you up. Then you open your mouth, start talking and usually ask a question which requires them to respond with more than a yes/no answer.

It helps if you can culture a bit of bonhommie, a general kind of robust friendliness, and leave people with a good feeling after they’ve spoken to you. And surprisingly a lot of people enjoy these kinds of interactions, it makes them feel better.
 
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Twokiwisandabanana

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#8
I a, terrible at this because I have social anxiety but the small talk is all about what's the weather like
Talk about your dog or pet I actually utubed social skills
Asking questions goes a long way then just keep asking questions.
 
Chopsy

Chopsy

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#9
My recent style of living means i meet very few people in the physical, but i don't think i have ever been the type to initiate conversations with others, not since i was a very small child at least.

In the past i would talk alot if given the opportunity & would often incessantly talk to cover-up uncomfortable feelings that i would have around others.

However, i have never had a problem asking others for advice though, so if i need some help i think another can give me through verbal means, i have no issue with going up to them & directly 'asking'.

But talking for 'chit-chat's' sake, i never usually feel the need to initiate, least not for many, many years now.

[Oopps! .... i hadn't realised this thread is in the autism section]
 
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DoctorInternet2

DoctorInternet2

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#10
Something I don't do. I just never know what to say , or when there's an opening to do so. I mean you can't just go up to someone and start talking to them,can you ? Perhaps there's non verbal signs that give you a pointer re initiating,but if there are I'm clueless as to what they are.
Have you been diagnosed with autism? I'm not as bad as that, but I do tend to butt in too fast sometimes to a conversation. What is autism anyway? Can you explain a bit to me so I have a better idea please.
 
Mayfair

Mayfair

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#11
Something I don't do. I just never know what to say , or when there's an opening to do so. I mean you can't just go up to someone and start talking to them,can you ? Perhaps there's non verbal signs that give you a pointer re initiating,but if there are I'm clueless as to what they are.
I have mentioned before fm, a couple of books. My friend and I bought a copy for his young son the other day. Although he doesn't need it at all, he's very chatty anyway, but I think it's good to know what's going on, and different environments. I have to chat to customers every work day, but only a few, and only for a few minutes, and now can easily get through this, and with my experience from taxi driving.

I tend to get caught out if they ask something unexpected, but I just answer it honestly, if I can get the words out, or just play up my hard of hearing, or change the subject to weather as default :LOL:

I think I have an advantage though, people talk a lot about awkward silences, but I just don't really see them. I'm happy in silence.

I did a job the yesterday and it was about a 5 minute drop off, but was in the country. I enjoyed listening to the birds, and trying to spot which were which. There were at least 2 that I didn't recognise, so I'm going to look in my youtube category on bird songs :)