in too much pain , sat here in tears

S

Snowyrabbit

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Joined
Sep 26, 2017
Messages
290
#1
this is just one day and in this one day i have more then had enough . i had therapy earlier and since my therapy i have been hurting feeling sad lonely lost and confused.
i was upset around my twin sister earlier because the '' male '' part of me was there ( i haev dissociation and different parts due to a lot of trauma ) this was upsetting me because in my mind i felt like a man and a disturbed one .

secondly i felt weird on my walk earlier things around me were shifting and i felt a bit cut off .

i also hear that my older sister is again going on another holiday which has brought up feelings of hurt and jealousy... if the rest of my family get so much good why am i always left with the bad
all if eel like doing right now is crying my eyes out because this life is too painful its too unfair my problems just continue and continue and i am too scared of life, scared and tired of my own mind . i feel so lost and my life feels like a cruel lie.... nothing is feeling real , i am feeling beyond tired of it all , please i just want it to all leavme alone, i thought i deserved more but apparently not apparently this is all i deserve in life, problems pain ,t htats what it feels like
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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Moderator
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8,570
Location
England
#2
Hi Snowyrabbit,
Sorry your struggling, here to listen.
Life is so unfair.
Hoping you feel better soon.
Take care
 
E

exyz

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Joined
Jun 14, 2017
Messages
2,757
#3
Hi there snowy,
Listening here also, I wish I could make things a bit easier for you:sorry:
But here if you want to talk some more
 
S

Snowyrabbit

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Joined
Sep 26, 2017
Messages
290
#4
thankyou exyz :)
i am really frustrated and tired with it all... when i feel i am feeling better i always end up feeling worse again, i am not sure if yesterdays therapy session stirred up something within me but i am tired even when i am doing therapy i have to end up hurting ( still ) how do i not get sad ? i have been through so much trauma in my life since being a little girl i am now 33 and all i feel i am is a messed up individual with a messed up mind who can never have the life she wants, forced to suffer for what reason? my mental illness was causing distress yesterday and i even at one point felt very alone around my sister, one of the only people i have. i am tired of having to deal with this mental illness, its too upsetting. why should i have to deal with this anymore ? i do not get a choice in how i live and it feels like i am being forced to suffer in this life, but surely its my right to live how i want to live..
 
S

Snowyrabbit

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 26, 2017
Messages
290
#5
hello mayflower, thankyou. It is extremely unfair. i just want it all to leave now.. i do not see why i have to suffer in this life, yesterday was just ine day i have had so many days of upset, why should i have anymore?? it feels like punishment, where are the good times, and why does the rest of my family get it all? so painful missing out on life, hurting, why?? i do not understand, no comprehension or understanding of such a life
 
T

treasurebox

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Joined
Aug 14, 2018
Messages
36
Location
Philippines
#6
I am a person with bipolar disorder and there where times in my life where I had problems and I didn't know how to get out of them. Until i came a cross FEBC online radio where I got to listen to good, uplifting and empowering music, programs and counselling. Music is powerful in calming and enlightening us. Good music somehow speaks to us on how to solve our problems.

I heard that we should solve our problems one at a time. There is always a solution to every problem. What I do is that I talk to my Creator about and ask for help and wisdom.
 
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