In my head I’m confused, in my heart I’m broken!

[Romanqueen]

Over the last few years I’ve tried my best to my best be a better person.... counselling sessions, anxiety medication. I have limited to no contact with friends and family....I work hard and take care of my my partner and our son and our home. The last year things have been tough but considering the current circumstances I imagine it to be tough for lots of people. My partner says he loves me but at the same time felt it necessary to pretend to go to work and spend the day lying to me about....what I’m trying to figure out is this: he says he’s been struggling with life lately particularly our relationship and that I must feel the same....which I do as it has been tough. He says he doesn’t want to be without me but at the same time how long do we plod on. I don’t know if what he actually means is it’s over and I’m trying to break it to you gently or wait for you to suggest....or if there is someone else.....I’m all out!

 

[bpd2020]

Welcome back. I did not realise you and your partner were still together. I remember how he puts you down and belittles any attempts you make to get well. It is awful he lied to you about going to work.

 

[Romanqueen]

Yeah...it’s hard to throw away over 10years together. And it’s not even that I don’t love him. Coz I do very much...yeah it’s hard work. More things in life require hard work than them that don’t. I’m lost.

 

[bpd2020]

I am really sorry you are going through this. You are trying so hard to be a good partner.

 

[OmniscientNihilist]

he might be too scared or just too comfortable to break up.

he might be trying to force you to do it for him

or maybe hes just in a rut

 

[Wantingtolearn67]

Same here... mar tied for 19y... tho tough.. two daughters... affairs on both sides... but the thing is I’m deeply depressed and anxious about it and trying hard to hold it together... but know I need to leave. He does not want to leave house. But does not talk to me. Crazy. I wrote him letters and mails... I know he is done with us too.. but he will let me do all the work. It’s brutal. How long has this been going on with you? I’m new to this forum... I saw your post was in June, now it’s December. It’s breaking me that my depression is not letting me move on w my life... and I’m miserable.....