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    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

In my culture, enduring abuse is essential.

frisas45

frisas45

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 22, 2019
Messages
788
Location
South Korea



I highly reccommend reading this post to get a better background of my culture.

When I was a teenager, I read a newspaper article about a man who was abused by his abusive father. He was honored because he endured the abuse all his childhood and never called for help.

He says that's unconditional love. I say it's madness! My blood boils. He could've ran away. But he didn't.

I understand where that shit is coming from. You have to honor your parents in Korean societies. Since that man was Korean- American and US easily puts restraining order, they don't want to lost their family member.

If that shit is the case, flee! Run for your life. Do you want to be maimed for the rest of your life? Physically and emotionally scarred? But no. You have to suck it up. Fuck this.😡

But I guess same shit goes for me too, if my family member physically abuses me (they didn't). Just suck it up and keep your fucking mouth shut.

I got traumatized for reading that article and the memory haunts me right now.

I don't want to suck it up and endure the damn abuse. Hell, no! It's a dangerous thing to do. But wait... I have no fucking choice. If I don't, I might face persecution that is worse than abuse. Korean- Americans are more nationalistic and old- fashioned than the Native Koreans. If I EVER sued a family member for abuse, they might harass or physically harm me. Now, that might be not true, but I'm scared it might happen...
 
frisas45

frisas45

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 22, 2019
Messages
788
Location
South Korea
@vanish Have you experienced this? I'm asking you because we had a discussion at the post: "Do you know who I am?"
 
P

Purpleplum

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 7, 2020
Messages
590
Location
U.S.
Well if you have a family that would harass or physically harm you for sticking up for yourself, you need to get the hell away from them. You only get one life and it's short. It goes by fast. Don't waste a minute of it with toxic people.
 
frisas45

frisas45

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 22, 2019
Messages
788
Location
South Korea
Well if you have a family that would harass or physically harm you for sticking up for yourself, you need to get the hell away from them. You only get one life and it's short. It goes by fast. Don't waste a minute of it with toxic people.
Yep. What that man did in the newspaper wasn't cool.
 
ReverieAnxiety

ReverieAnxiety

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 3, 2019
Messages
750
Location
California, USA
Hi frisas!

It's so scary how we can be conditioned to think that abuse is love. I try to not read stories that may affect me negatively. We got enough of that in ours lives already.
 
M

Manda

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 11, 2019
Messages
74
Location
Leeds



I highly reccommend reading this post to get a better background of my culture.

When I was a teenager, I read a newspaper article about a man who was abused by his abusive father. He was honored because he endured the abuse all his childhood and never called for help.

He says that's unconditional love. I say it's madness! My blood boils. He could've ran away. But he didn't.

I understand where that shit is coming from. You have to honor your parents in Korean societies. Since that man was Korean- American and US easily puts restraining order, they don't want to lost their family member.

If that shit is the case, flee! Run for your life. Do you want to be maimed for the rest of your life? Physically and emotionally scarred? But no. You have to suck it up. Fuck this.😡

But I guess same shit goes for me too, if my family member physically abuses me (they didn't). Just suck it up and keep your fucking mouth shut.

I got traumatized for reading that article and the memory haunts me right now.

I don't want to suck it up and endure the damn abuse. Hell, no! It's a dangerous thing to do. But wait... I have no fucking choice. If I don't, I might face persecution that is worse than abuse. Korean- Americans are more nationalistic and old- fashioned than the Native Koreans. If I EVER sued a family member for abuse, they might harass or physically harm me. Now, that might be not true, but I'm scared it might happen...
 
frisas45

frisas45

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 22, 2019
Messages
788
Location
South Korea
Hi frisas!

It's so scary how we can be conditioned to think that abuse is love. I try to not read stories that may affect me negatively. We got enough of that in ours lives already.
Yeah. I was forced to read it by somebody else. (Sigh)
 
LizBo

LizBo

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 1, 2019
Messages
600
Location
Down-under



I highly reccommend reading this post to get a better background of my culture.

When I was a teenager, I read a newspaper article about a man who was abused by his abusive father. He was honored because he endured the abuse all his childhood and never called for help.

He says that's unconditional love. I say it's madness! My blood boils. He could've ran away. But he didn't.

I understand where that shit is coming from. You have to honor your parents in Korean societies. Since that man was Korean- American and US easily puts restraining order, they don't want to lost their family member.

If that shit is the case, flee! Run for your life. Do you want to be maimed for the rest of your life? Physically and emotionally scarred? But no. You have to suck it up. Fuck this.😡

But I guess same shit goes for me too, if my family member physically abuses me (they didn't). Just suck it up and keep your fucking mouth shut.

I got traumatized for reading that article and the memory haunts me right now.

I don't want to suck it up and endure the damn abuse. Hell, no! It's a dangerous thing to do. But wait... I have no fucking choice. If I don't, I might face persecution that is worse than abuse. Korean- Americans are more nationalistic and old- fashioned than the Native Koreans. If I EVER sued a family member for abuse, they might harass or physically harm me. Now, that might be not true, but I'm scared it might happen...
Hi Frisis;

I was abused growing up. The thing that used to haunt me was taking it and not complaining. What I learned though was I'd been 'groomed' to be that way by my abusers as they were taught the same thing. This info gave me more compassion for them, and eventually encouraged positive dialogue between us.

People can only change if they want to; finding the courage to stand up for myself after fear ruled my entire life was a massive feat. My breakdown was really unpleasant, but it changed me for the better. I now 'have' to protect me (survival) which changed the way I communicate with them. Believe me, it was just as confronting for them as it was for me, maybe moreso.

New generations have a responsibility to buck the system of abuse. The world's changing for the better in this respect. In ancient cultures it's slower than in the West, but change is occurring. For instance, many women in male dominated cultures are educating themselves, creating businesses and passing their courage onto the next generation. It's slow, but at least it's happening.

Change takes time...empathy costs nothing.

Respectfully;
Liz
 
frisas45

frisas45

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 22, 2019
Messages
788
Location
South Korea
Hi Frisis;

I was abused growing up. The thing that used to haunt me was taking it and not complaining. What I learned though was I'd been 'groomed' to be that way by my abusers as they were taught the same thing. This info gave me more compassion for them, and eventually encouraged positive dialogue between us.

People can only change if they want to; finding the courage to stand up for myself after fear ruled my entire life was a massive feat. My breakdown was really unpleasant, but it changed me for the better. I now 'have' to protect me (survival) which changed the way I communicate with them. Believe me, it was just as confronting for them as it was for me, maybe moreso.

New generations have a responsibility to buck the system of abuse. The world's changing for the better in this respect. In ancient cultures it's slower than in the West, but change is occurring. For instance, many women in male dominated cultures are educating themselves, creating businesses and passing their courage onto the next generation. It's slow, but at least it's happening.

Change takes time...empathy costs nothing.

Respectfully;
Liz
Yeah... change GOTTA happen. Otherwise, we're screwed :(
 
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