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In Hospital (HOCD)

mark payne

mark payne

Active member
Joined
Dec 22, 2014
Messages
36
i'm writing you from my room in hospital please don't judge or hate me everybody here already did (my family) i hurted my self last night at night i couldn't help it, i guess you already knew why... i already wrote about it over and over its about Hocd i just coudln't help this pain no more and i just wanted to disappear and die... i had an amazing life and i dont think i will be able to back my life again never!!! i'm hopeless no one really help and i dont think someone can help i think i will hurt my self again i told my family i will not but i lied (they dont even know why i did it) this forum is my last chance i swear plz just dont just say again go see a doctor i need someone help me , please someone message me in private or give me hope with a comment here please i'm dieing here.
 
C

cherbear

Guest
Oh hunny i'm so sorry to hear that sending you lots of cuddles . I have put myself in hospital before after trying to end it so I sympathise with all my heart my lovely . It felt like the lonliest place in the universe at the time . After I came out I was still a mess little by little I have been putting myself back together ever since . I'm not going to lie to you it's not easy and I still have days when I have had enough but still I keep working to get myself to a better place . My heart breaks for you that you are at this point . There is light at the end of the tunnel though hunny . I know it may not seem that way now but please stay with us . You are a kind hearted and lovely man who I think has alot of insight and are very caring too . Please please keep yourself safe . I for one would miss you greatly . Lots of love .:hug::loveshower:
 
Last edited:
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,534
Location
The West Country
I'm really sorry that you self-harmed, but i'm glad that you are in hospital where you can be looked after.

Perhaps it may be that it's not comfortable to tell your family, that's ok.

I'm sorry if this has already been suggested, but have you sought out counselling at all?
Whilst we are here to help and support you, there's only so much we can do online and it sounds like you're in a really bad way and need face-to-face support.

I wish I could be of more help but HOCD isn't something i'm familiar with, and so all I can do is tell you that I sincerely hope you feel better soon. :hug1:
 
mark payne

mark payne

Active member
Joined
Dec 22, 2014
Messages
36
thank you everybody ....SomersetScorpio: i'm still at hospital it's so calm here i sometimes feel i'm ok and the feeling go away and i become so happy and i think i back my life but it still only for few minutes then i back to have panic attack, i dont know what's really wrong with me, and no i can't talk to someone about it that's why i said the forum is my last chance i live in a small city we are only 300 people here so if i go and tell trust me everybody will know!
 
R

Rose19602

Guest
Hi Mark,
I'm so sorry to hear that you self harmed and have ended up in hospital....but I'm pleased that you feel safe and calm there.

I know you are posting from a different country, and that things are different there, but doctors have to observe confidentiality all over the world. Although people in your town may know that you are in hospital, they will not know the details of your case because it is private information and doctors and nurses are not permitted to discuss your case or they will lose their job.

You need some help with this Mark....professional help. We can listen and support you, but it's important to receive a diagnosis and the right treatment from a professional too. We are not abandoning you....just trying to guide you to services that might help you. We don't want you to continue feeling unsafe, to self harm and to keep having these panic attacks. Please ask your doctors for help and request a private discussion with a psychiatrist. Ask about keeping the information confidential first. This should provide you with some reassurance perhaps.

take care
x
 
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