- Jun 20, 2008
Hello, I am a 31 (soon to be 32) year old married Mother of 3 boys aged 7, 5 and 3! For years I have suffered intense mood swings and depressive episodes along with alcohol abuse and recently it has all just come to a head. Social workers have been in my life now for some time but because of my behaviour (heavy alcohol consumption around the kids, extreme anger and mood changes, unpredictability etc) the social workers have had a case conference and have now decided that the children should live with their Father. This is even harder as my Husband (their Father) is from Zimbabwe and his status in the UK has not actually been clarified yet therefore he is not entitled to housing (the house we have is a housing association property and is my name) so we are all living together still under the same roof even though my Husband and I split up a couple of months ago (my fault, met someone else on a night out, nothing came of it, my impulsiveness intervening as usual!) I had an appointment with a psychiatrist the other day (I have been in a psychiatric hospital before, suicidal thoughts etc) and she diagnosed me as have a personality disorder - the impulsive type. I have known for years that something was wrong with me, not just depression but terrible mood swings and aggressiveness on a daily basis. I just want to be there for my children, I love them all so much and people who know me describe me as bubbly, loving and caring which is true and sometimes I can be surrounded by people then the next day just can't get out of bed and don't want to see anybody and panic if there is so much as a knock on the door! I have lost so many jobs, been in a violent relationship and my poor kids have seen me in some real crazy states. Luckily, their Father is a real stable guy and calm but I just don't know how I'm going to cope when they are moved into their own accommodation, scared I'm gonna lose it completely!!!