Imposter syndrome?

[Bathfiller]

hello there!
I’ve been diagnosed many years ago but the last year or maybe not so much, i feel like they were wrong. Maybe i once had bipolar but I don’t think i have it anymore. Every time someone talks about bipolar i feel like imposter. When the doctors say something or prescribe some medication i feel like its wrong. Im afraid to stop the meds also. Im afraid to say anything to my doctor also. I don’t t know. But i feel day in and out that im like imposter. What if it is that im not ill and maybe never was or that I’m misdiagnosed.
has anyone ever experienced similar thing? What should i do?

 

[Wishbone]

If you've had a hypomanic or manic episode you have Bipolar disorder. You don't need to have these regularly and it won't go away. It can still be there, sleeping away like a dormant volcano. The minute you think you're ok and don't need the meds - Boom!

 

[CabbageMama]

Kind of, to be honest. I haven’t wanted to accept the diagnosis, the treatment plan, the making all the necessary changes that are meant to keep me stable. Things got so bad though, that I had to listen to the advice I was given and have mostly tried to follow it. I do understand what you are saying about maybe being ok if you weren’t having diagnoses thrown at you. Your meds may be wrong, so you need to start talking to your Dr effectively about what does and does not work for you. They are used to these kind of discussions and will most likely be pleased that you are giving things serious consideration. I would have the talk about you not feeling like you need meds at all, too. If they don’t agree with you, they will at least be better able to explain why they disagree. By not talking to them, you aren’t giving them the opportunity to help you effectively. And it might be that some tweaks or changes could be implemented, that would make you feel loads better.

 

[Queenoface]

If you kept using the medication all those years, chances are its the medication that was actually doing its job at keeping your moods stable and psychosis away. So dont go off of the medication like that, you can probably talk to a doctor about it. Also whenever I am on medication for an extended period of time, I start to doubt my diagnosis because my moods would be pretty stable and I wouldn't experience episodes, etc and that would lead me to discontinue the medication and then well, I usually end up again in the hospital. So be wise my friend.

 

[keith74]

hello there!
I’ve been diagnosed many years ago but the last year or maybe not so much, i feel like they were wrong. Maybe i once had bipolar but I don’t think i have it anymore. Every time someone talks about bipolar i feel like imposter. When the doctors say something or prescribe some medication i feel like its wrong. Im afraid to stop the meds also. Im afraid to say anything to my doctor also. I don’t t know. But i feel day in and out that im like imposter. What if it is that im not ill and maybe never was or that I’m misdiagnosed.
has anyone ever experienced similar thing? What should i do?

My wife did this TWICE. In 2015, after many years of stability, she decided that maybe she was never really bipolar and decided she doesn't need her meds anymore. She stopped for awhile and then had some minor stress at work and fell into a severe depression that took months to get out of. She had to quit her job. She went back on her meds and said she will stick with them... until last year when she decided maybe she doesn't need as high a dose of her meds (because she has been stable for a few years) so she started reduce her meds on her own. Then she had a few stressful things happen which triggered a major acute manic episode (which ended up involving police and a 6 week hospitalization) and then followed with a severe depressive episode which she is finally getting out of. She has been out of work since september of last year. Now she SWEARS that she FULLY ACCEPTS her diagnosis and will NEVER change her medication without getting agreement from her psychiatrist first.

 

[Bathfiller]

My wife did this TWICE. In 2015, after many years of stability, she decided that maybe she was never really bipolar and decided she doesn't need her meds anymore. She stopped for awhile and then had some minor stress at work and fell into a severe depression that took months to get out of. She had to quit her job. She went back on her meds and said she will stick with them... until last year when she decided maybe she doesn't need as high a dose of her meds (because she has been stable for a few years) so she started reduce her meds on her own. Then she had a few stressful things happen which triggered a major acute manic episode (which ended up involving police and a 6 week hospitalization) and then followed with a severe depressive episode which she is finally getting out of. She has been out of work since september of last year. Now she SWEARS that she FULLY ACCEPTS her diagnosis and will NEVER change her medication without getting agreement from her psychiatrist first.

If I may ask what meds is she on?

 

[keith74]

If I may ask what meds is she on?

Currently she is on a lot more stuff than usual as she comes out of what was an acute depressive episode. Her current meds are:
-1000mg valporic acid (depakote/epival)
-300mg quetiapine
-200mg gapapenti

Her typical "maintenance" meds when stable is 750mg valporic and 100mg quetiapine. Though looking forward we are thinking of changing it up to have something to help with depression as 100mg quetiapine is too low for that.