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Immature Personality Disorder

G

Geeky

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Sep 17, 2011
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I wonder if there is anyone here who has a similar background to me? Over-protective parents who cocooned you so that your emotional development was stunted. My mother was controlling, naive, and neurotic. She wanted the best for me but by worrying obsessively over me, filling me with her fears and not letting me develop as a person, she did a lot of damage - without realising it.

I am 48 now and suffering with alcoholism, stress, some depression, and severe obesity. As a young man I was in-and-out of psychiatric services and was given a different diagnosis every time, from psychosis to depression and OCD. My real 'symptoms' were:

  1. Lack of empathy, I was very selfish.
  2. Childish and irresponsible behaviour.
  3. Lack of ability to take responsibility for my own actions, or to accept criticism.
  4. Lack of insight. I had no real self-awareness and had no idea what I was really like as a person.
  5. Inability to tolerate stress or low moods.
  6. Relationship difficulties, I was very socially unskilled and terribly lonely.
  7. Emotional volatility. I had mood swings and would be up and down all day.

With life experience and therapy, I have overcome a lot of this. The last three symptoms (5-7) are the ones that I still have.

The one that hurt so much to realise was (1) lack of empathy. I felt awful when I realised I only really cared about myself. Now I have a wife and children and I have changed. As a young man they told me I'd always be immature, but my experiences show this isn't quite true. However I sometimes wonder how much of that spoiled child is still trapped inside of me.
 
Tawny

Tawny

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I've heard of conversion disorder. I'm not sure if it's the same.
 
jajingna

jajingna

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Is "immature" a personality disorder? If so I think a lot of people would qualify. Was reading about complex trauma recently. The writer said "developmental arrests" are pretty common. There's still a lot of child stuff going on inside grownup brains I guess. Sometimes we can act like we're maybe 12 years old even when we are 50. Could be that some emotions never went far beyond a certain level of development. A lot of things we learn to survive as children can stay with us indefinitely. Many emotional responses can still be like they were so long ago.
 
stevie_sloth

stevie_sloth

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I've heard of conversion disorder. I'm not sure if it's the same.

Google - Conversion disorder is a mental condition in which a person has blindness, paralysis, or other nervous system (neurologic) symptoms that cannot be explained by medical evaluation
 
stevie_sloth

stevie_sloth

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Is "immature" a personality disorder? If so I think a lot of people would qualify. Was reading about complex trauma recently. The writer said "developmental arrests" are pretty common. There's still a lot of child stuff going on inside grownup brains I guess. Sometimes we can act like we're maybe 12 years old even when we are 50. Could be that some emotions never went far beyond a certain level of development. A lot of things we learn to survive as children can stay with us indefinitely. Many emotional responses can still be like they were so long ago.

Immature Personality Disorder (IPD) is an ICD-10 diagnosis characterized by lack of emotional development, low tolerance of stress and anxiety, inability to accept personal responsibility, and reliance on age-inappropriate defense mechanisms. The disorder has been "gaining prominence" in the 21st century.
 
stevie_sloth

stevie_sloth

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Is "immature" a personality disorder? If so I think a lot of people would qualify. Was reading about complex trauma recently. The writer said "developmental arrests" are pretty common. There's still a lot of child stuff going on inside grownup brains I guess. Sometimes we can act like we're maybe 12 years old even when we are 50. Could be that some emotions never went far beyond a certain level of development. A lot of things we learn to survive as children can stay with us indefinitely. Many emotional responses can still be like they were so long ago.

This I find very interesting.

If there are developmental delays / arrests caused by childhood trauma, then for me, a lot of my emotional development would have stopped at age 4-5 (cPTSD and major anxiety / hyper vigilance starts), then age 7 (OCD starts), then 12 (social anxiety starts), and then after age 14 when that particular trauma stopped, I noticed I immediately began manifesting symptoms of BPD.
 
G

Geeky

Active member
Joined
Sep 17, 2011
Messages
37
Is "immature" a personality disorder? If so I think a lot of people would qualify. Was reading about complex trauma recently. The writer said "developmental arrests" are pretty common. There's still a lot of child stuff going on inside grownup brains I guess. Sometimes we can act like we're maybe 12 years old even when we are 50. Could be that some emotions never went far beyond a certain level of development. A lot of things we learn to survive as children can stay with us indefinitely. Many emotional responses can still be like they were so long ago.
Hi jajinga. As stevie_sloth says, it is listed in the ICD-10. There might be a lot of people that might be thought of by others as immature, but for it to be a personality disorder it has to have a significant effect on your life e.g. jobs and relationships.
 
G

Geeky

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Joined
Sep 17, 2011
Messages
37
This I find very interesting.

If there are developmental delays / arrests caused by childhood trauma, then for me, a lot of my emotional development would have stopped at age 4-5 (cPTSD and major anxiety / hyper vigilance starts), then age 7 (OCD starts), then 12 (social anxiety starts), and then after age 14 when that particular trauma stopped, I noticed I immediately began manifesting symptoms of BPD.
Hi stevie. I saw a therapist for over a year and it was his opinion that I had BPD. I think the two are similar. I have the mood swings that are associated with BPD. However, I have been married for 21 years so I have a stable (but difficult) relationship. Also I don't really self-harm and I don't have "chronic feelings of emptiness" (whatever that means).

It is good that you noticed your symptoms, I never had that degree of insight when I was younger.
 
stevie_sloth

stevie_sloth

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Hi stevie. I saw a therapist for over a year and it was his opinion that I had BPD. I think the two are similar. I have the mood swings that are associated with BPD. However, I have been married for 21 years so I have a stable (but difficult) relationship. Also I don't really self-harm and I don't have "chronic feelings of emptiness" (whatever that means).

It is good that you noticed your symptoms, I never had that degree of insight when I was younger.

I have all 9 traits of BPD and have been with my partner for 20 years, though with varying difficulties at different stages. Earlier on, I felt in love, my partner was my FP, and I was happy and felt alive, BUT...I'd have horrendous explosions, temper tantrums, I'd be verbally abusive, physically threatening and violent to objects (never people), I'd self harm and threaten to do worse, and I'd basically appear completely irrational, unstable and literally crazy. Every 1-4 weeks. For many years.

Once I stopped feeling my partner was my FP (which took me years to even admit to myself, and also I had no idea what an FP even was), I stabilised. No more explosions. No more rage. Because, I now see, there was no more intense fear of being abandoned by my FP. I was very bored though, and irritable a lot of the time. I didn't really know why.

This went on for many years, in which I inadvertently found new FPs. I still didn't know what they were, and just assumed I had "a crush" on them. I've had 3 FPs since I stopped seeing my partner that way. This is over the course of 10 years.

Now, after 20 years, I am SO bored, unhappy, SO irritable, and really empty. Like...life isn't boring. My partner isn't boring. I am not boring. But I'm SO DAMN BORED because there is nothing inside. I have no motivation to do anything, no interest in anything, no desire to do anything and I get no desire from anything. EVERYTHING feels like too much effort.

And yes, I have a current FP, but we are just friends. And right now I'm angry at her. I feel ignored and uncared for. But do you see? I'm aware of all this, but I still can't help feeling unstable.

For a while I thought I'd "grown out" of my "anger issues" that caused my tantrums and instability, but no. That part of my BPD is just dormant when I either don't have an active FP, or my FP is just a friend and things are going well (which is most of the time). But the OTHER part of my BPD is an enormous presence when I'm not explosive - the depression and boredom.
 
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