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I'm Worried that Being Diagnosed with OCD Might Ruin my Future

A

adh_rc1

New member
Joined
Feb 12, 2019
Messages
1
Location
Florida
Hi all,

Ever since the age of ~14, my OCD has been getting progressively more and more time-consuming and tiring. My OCD can be best characterized as the "just-right" type vs the contamination one. It's gotten to a point now where I won't even wash the sink full of dishes since with every single dish, there's a certain method that has to be followed before going into the dishwasher. I'd estimate there are > 60 different things in my life that require a strict method and if I fail, I need to start over again. So putting a new trash bag into the trash can can sometimes take more than 5 minutes and 10 attempts. This has led me to procrastinate every single task that has a ritual. Whenever I'm typing up a paper, if I misspell a word 3 lines up, I have to hold the backspace and delete everything up to, and including, the word, just to change it. Whenever I go to bed, I need to flap the bedsheet until it is absolutely wrinkle-free, then I have to close the door and only make one step from the light switch to the bed. Once, it took me 1 hour and 30 minutes to get to bed.

My mind also has the tendency to just randomly think things like "f*** you" whenever I am talking with someone. From there, I have to apologize to them. But the rule I made up is that the apology has to be verbal. Since randomly blurting out "sorry" would be weird, I just quietly whisper "sorry" and hope they don't notice anything abnormal.

I also have found some relief by imagining myself getting violently stabbed as it kind of distracts me from the current situation. I have to say, in public, I've become good at managing my OCD compulsions (not obsessions) to the point that I forget about them completely. It's just when I am at home this occurs.

So, the main question is, since I'm dealing with something crippling, if I seek help, how can I ensure that it doesn't go on my medical record? My insurance would probably cover treatment, but I've read the horror stories about employers discriminating against people like me and want to avoid that if at all possible. At the same time, I'm trying to avoid the constant stress and tension this disorder gives me without going insane.

Just posting this message is very scary for me as my OCD I regard as something that can decide to do harm at any moment.
 
Victorianna

Victorianna

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 8, 2019
Messages
792
Location
California, USA
In the US, the HIPPA laws prevent your employers from seeing your medical records and learning about your conditions, treatments, medications - anything like that. You shouldn’t worry about this, and go to seek help. You can verify this at the time of your appointment, if it still is concerning to you.
 
TroubleinParadise

TroubleinParadise

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 28, 2018
Messages
184
Location
South Africa
Getting help is more important than these concerns.

Think of it this way: You will be more employable once you've underwent some therapy; and your job will be easier.
 
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