I'm worried about psychosis...

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simonr1978

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#1
For a bit of background, I've never been diagnosed with mental health problems formally although I've been told variously by my GP that I probably have depression and by other professionals that I probably need counselling and in the case of one individual (Who to be fair was in the final stages of finishing her training and didn't want to pass me on to a new trainee) that her replacement would probably be out of her depth with me.

However over the Christmas period I apparently had an incident (I say apparently because I can't recall the details) which involved an alarming amount of paranoia and resulted in me being referred to A&E via ambulance, which I thoroughly regret.

I had drank a lot that evening, however I have never reacted to alcohol in that way before and I've got far drunker than that in the past, I've also mixed drinks and on one occasion messed around with other substances without any adverse reactions.

What worries me in particular is the sort of things I'd apparently said and how that might affect my future since I've almost certainly got some mental health markers against me. I can basically cope with suicidal thoughts 99% of the time so I just accept that this is just normal for me, but I've never previously been aware of anything outside of that.

Any advice would be appreciated.
 
calypso

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#2
you say you cope with suicidal thoughts, but that you are getting them at all is a problem isn't it? Personally, I wouldn't worry too much about the incident as you had too much to drink and had taken other substances which probably lead to this incident. What did the docs say at A&E or can't you remember?

I think that a doc saying you are in a depression should be taken seriously. I am not clear why someone would tell you that others couldn't cope with you. That sounds unhelpful in the extreme. You can always ask your doc for more therapy - proper stuff not just counselling or you can buy some yourself. Its about £40 an hour and that sounds a lot, but we waste money - all of us - and you might be able to fund that perhaps? Getting to the root of your problems is the key here. Depression can lead to incidents which mimic psychosis, and perhaps you should just put that down to experience. Were you on any medication at the time?

I wish you well for the future
 
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simonr1978

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#3
Thanks for the reply Calypso, I'll respond roughly in order.

you say you cope with suicidal thoughts, but that you are getting them at all is a problem isn't it?

Should it be a problem? I am genuinely asking here. It's something that's been on my mind one way or the other since I was in my mid-teens and I'm going to be 41 this year so it just is normal to me.

Personally, I wouldn't worry too much about the incident as you had too much to drink and had taken other substances which probably lead to this incident

Just to be clear here, whilst I had been drinking that night I hadn't taken anything else. In fact except for one evening I've never go so far as smoking a regular cigarette in whole life. However I've not tended to have much of a response to drugs when I've been prescribed them.

That's what worries me most, I've been frankly moronically drunk repeatedly in the past (Mostly teens and early 20s). I've never had a reaction even remotely like I did though. I'm living in shared housing at the moment but apparently I was convinced that another resident was my enemy and was going to shoot me with a Second World War rifle, I've lived in barracks and never felt like that.

I can also clearly remember his partner speaking to me in hospital which is just not possible, but that's about the only thing I can actually remember directly though.

I honestly couldn't afford private counselling at the moment. The professional I spoke to was a trainee social worker, part of the problem to be fair came from me too; I'm a worrier and if you've heard the cliche about "A problem shared..." it's the opposite for me, a problem shared is a problem doubled because now I'm not just worried about myself but the other party too. I know for the majority of people talking helps, but for some of us it just makes things worse.
 
Jbb79

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#4
Lay of the Booze, My man x x

:D :scared:

Mental illness will be bigger, than one incident - Suicidal thoughts are bad, You deserve to live <3 <3
 
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simonr1978

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#5
Lay of the Booze, My man x x
I don't think I even could drink as much as I did in my youth, I have a rare binge these days. Christmas is generally a bad time for me though and I cope by obliterating it as far as possible. For the most part though, I enjoy an occasional drink when I can afford to and justify doing so.

This was a rare exception. In retrospect the mistake I made was involving other people, if I'd just kept my own company it would have probably not even been noticed.

Mental illness will be bigger, than one incident - Suicidal thoughts are bad,
I can cope with most parts and like I've said it's something I've been accustomed to for a long time, I guess I just assumed it was fairly normal.

To be clear there was another incident earlier last year but that wasn't related to psychosis so doesn't seem relevant.

You deserve to live <3 <3
I'll have to take your word for that. I respectfully disagree though.
 
Tired Daisy

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#6
I could never drink as much neither, as things have become more gentrified and society becoming less sociable there's not much point in drinking anymore plus I've got a poorly liver so drinking for me is out of the question anyway.
 
Martha Farquhar

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Simon, I can relate to the suicidal thoughts not totally disappearing, I too assumed other people felt this, you just manage it a bit better or use, probably not so healthy, coping skills. And feeling more worry & depression if you open up to people, its always made seeing specialists a bit of a problem. It's actually quite nice to read I'm not totally alone in that.
 
MeropeneM

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#8
It's very hard to induce psychosis without throwing weed and amphetamines into the mix. Even then it's only temporary so it's not that bad.
 
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#9
I had a psychotic episode. Im pretty sure events where the catalyst and weed was the trigger. Mixture of stress maybe also but my mind had 1000 plus things it was worried and paranoid about. Thankfully i must say it was dealt with quickly and i got help.
As for suicidal thoughts i guess it comes from extremely low mood in my case. I call it suicidal feelings right now but also had some intrusive thoughts of subliminal harm which were so advanced i was amazed that my subconscious could tell me these things. That is when i knew it was out of control. My mind was telling me to kill myself with m family attatched by rope, couldnt close my eyes.
Anti psychotics are available lie aripriprizol
 
MeropeneM

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#10
For somebody without psychosis history to worry about psychosis is non sense. It's notoriously hard to get even if you try hard to induce it and likely only last 5 minutes.
 
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simonr1978

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#11
I don't feel that my concern here was nonsense. As far as I'm aware on that evening I had consumed nothing other than alcohol and I reacted extremely badly and in a way I'd never done before. In all honesty I've taken Amphetamine, Cocaine and Ketamine all in a single evening once months before and all it did was make me feel a bit drunker (Ketamine) and meant I couldn't sleep for a few days (Coke and Speed), aside from that I've never had anything stronger than caffeine and alcohol and prescription drugs usually have a very limited effect on me.

My reaction was bad enough apparently for another resident to call an ambulance, might have been an over-reaction on his behalf but I still found the after-action reports pretty alarming.
 
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Jules5

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#12
Wow you had allot of stuff in your body I can see why you think it an isolated event. BUT something made you keep ongoing on like that Something you may want to take a look at.

It is no fun having police called going to a mental house or jail even.
Things seem to have a way of repeating themselves if you do not have barracks in place.

Hopefully you put up a road block to these chemicals in your body and it was a one time thing. If not just keep talking here on forum and try to get some feedback through your peers if this be the case. Love ya Jules5
 
MeropeneM

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#13
^ You have no proof that his use of Amphetamine, Cocaine and Ketamine caused any upset. In fact he reported quite the contrary.

OP, can you describe the upset, like what happened in more detail? You might have been poisoned.
 
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simonr1978

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#14
Thanks, my use of those substances was in about June the previous year so by December I think they should have been long out of my system. I drank heavily that evening mixing Vodka and Whisky, but like I've suggested that's not really all that exceptional through the course of my life and I do think my reaction that time was extremely uncharacteristic. I was very unhappy at that time but that was not entirely unexpected. I can realistically only go by third hand accounts as I can honestly remember very little, but I apparently thought that a housemate was trying to kill me with a second world war rifle. I can believe that account and without wishing to go into too many details, I can see myself being that specific whilst I can't imagine the other party mentioning or even knowing those details. I apparently commented that I thought no-one loved me.
 
MeropeneM

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#15
Looking at it as a whole I really don't see much. When you sobered up you weren't in psychosis. You can't really look at your symptoms during the alcohol binge because alcohol is a small molecule that fits all holes in your brain so it can cause all sort of effects. You have to look at your symptoms following the binge, when you are sober and see if anything is out of place.

An interesting video of what I mean: