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I'm upset and not coping tonight

C

celticlass

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Sister is complaining about me sending extreme texts and making similar calls. I want to say well did it never occur to you to phone one of my family members or even my Medical Practice. Relationship in tatters at the minute. I feel terrible.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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Hi,
I'm sorry this is happening to you. Could you call your crisis team?
Hoping you feel better soon.
Hugs
 
calypso

calypso

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What is going on? Are you in a desperate state right now? We are here to listen if you need to talk it through.
 
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celticlass

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What is going on? Are you in a desperate state right now? We are here to listen if you need to talk it through.
Now she is saying these calls and texts were from years ago (2015) when I was very unwell. Think I really have to distance myself from her as our views and values are so different. She says she is happy and I cannot say the same unfortunately. I have physical health issues popping up too. I live alone and struggle to self care, maintain my property etc just describing. Her life is one of comfort and luxury. We cannot relate. She actually said not having to think about my health and my life would be a weight off her mind. Clearly I am just a burden not a much loved sister.
 
Lunar Lady

Lunar Lady

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Hi Celticlass

So sorry to hear you're having a rough time. Nothing more painful than family rows.

An MH diagnosis doesn't make the things we say any less hurtful - we hit our mark. If your sister is bringing this up now perhaps those texts hurt her far more deeply than imagined.

Sometimes, it takes nothing more than acknowledging the other person's emotions to diffuse an argument. Maybe you could tell her that causing her pain was the last thing on your mind and that you're sorry.

I think your sister was saying that she worries about you all the time - that's an act of love.

Life is so short - better to have a relationship than win an argument.

I really hope you have an easier day, Celticlass and you and your sister can 'hear' each other and remain close. x
 
calypso

calypso

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If this is causing you pain right now then a little step back is a good thing to do for your own MH. It is as Lunar Lady says that she isn't able to cope with things to do with you right now. Its about taking small actions at first. Make a list and do some of the things on that list in a day. YOu won't probably be able to do all of them, but start somewhere.

You are hurt and upset, I understand that. It must be awful to feel a sister isn't "getting" where you are at. It could be as you say that she just doesn't understand. Unless you have been through this its so hard to understand the pain it causes.
 
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celticlass

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Thank you for your reply but we are not close and never have been. We both come from a damaging background. I am not arguing with her over this. She clearly has seen herself in a caring role for me over the past years or so. She lives 50 miles away but never comes to visit. Since the texting and calling went on years ago it was apologised for a very long time ago.
 
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celticlass

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I am trying my best Calypso just to step back from her. she is a completely different person to me. I got it wrong and I feel a bit foolish. I thought she wanted a closer relationship despite our differences. She says she has precious people she relies on for advice etc, she is very blessed and deserves to be. has been seeing a privately paid for psychologist for 5 years - no doubt complaining about what a drain I am on her. No, I think I am done,
 
Lunar Lady

Lunar Lady

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I am trying my best Calypso just to step back from her. she is a completely different person to me. I got it wrong and I feel a bit foolish. I thought she wanted a closer relationship despite our differences. She says she has precious people she relies on for advice etc, she is very blessed and deserves to be. has been seeing a privately paid for psychologist for 5 years - no doubt complaining about what a drain I am on her. No, I think I am done,
I'm estranged from my sibling. It's not anything to do with holding grudges or not getting on- we just had a very painful childhood and we both bring back those memories for each other.

Families are so complicated. I hope you can find some peace and happiness Celticlass x
 
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