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Im trying but its so difficult.

S

Seano

New member
Joined
Aug 6, 2017
Messages
2
Hi there people. I'm sat here not really sure what to write. Last year I lost my job then my mother died. I had to have my beloved dog put to sleep then my wife left me and as we rented the property from her sister I lost my home too. I've just reread that and it seems like an over the top comment left by a troll but I assure you it's not. My wife left not for another partner but rather she says she just didn't love me anymore.
I was diagnosed with depression several years ago and have suffered with it on and off for a long time. At the moment I feel like I'm drowning in it. I've got a flat and found a job but I'm just existing. I go to work, hardly speak to anyone due to the nature and location of the job, come home and just sit there. I used to be an avid reader, loved TV and computer games but now I have no interest. I'm constantly tearful, I feel it quivering just below the surface ready to burst out. Most of all I feel so alone. I always thought recurring dreams were a cliche but I seem to dream every night that I'm either back with my wife or that she's with someone else then I wake up devastated. I sit in this crummy flat with no hope for the future. My wife who was a carer for her parents and now lives with them calls or texts me from time to time. She says she still cares for me and wants to stay friends. I know it's the wrong thing to do but I'm not strong enough to make a clean break. I lie to her and my friends as well as my family. I tell them all I'm fine but I'm just not. I'm crying now, I feel so down, so tired of it all. My life is just so empty now. I'm trying to get past all this but it's just so hard I'm thinking things will never get better. I'm sorry for waffling on, I just wanted to talk to people who understand.
 
Goldiron

Goldiron

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 23, 2017
Messages
302
Welcome to the forums
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 9, 2011
Messages
40,672
Location
Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
:welcome: i hope you find the forum useful
im here to listen and i truly hope things improve for you soon
love from Fairy Lu xxxx
 
Foxjo

Foxjo

Well-known member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 2, 2012
Messages
8,129
Location
Teesside
Hi and welcome to the forum! :welcome:
Could you go to your doctor and ask to be referred to some grief counselling? It really does sound as though you need to talk to someone, to help you with your grief and depression. You cant fix this on your own. You need support and talking really does help in my opinion.
Please dont give up fighting this,
Hugs
Fox
 
S

Seano

New member
Joined
Aug 6, 2017
Messages
2
I'm going to make an appointment for sometime this week. Thanks people
 
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