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I'm taking a vow of silence (I feel ashamed of myself)

SicklyBloom

SicklyBloom

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 20, 2020
Messages
139
Location
USA
Yesterday I got in an argument with my mother and now I feel disgusted in myself. There's nobody to blame but me in this situation and I don't feel sorry for myself. Yes, I know that I'm not in the best head space, but it gives me no right to act so disrespectfully. Instead of harming myself, I decided to take an approach that would benefit me in the long run. I thought that taking a vow of silence would not only help me learn to be a better listener, but also help me think about how actions speak louder than words. I haven't done this before and it can be challenging at first, but I'm willing to give it a try. I'm not doing this out of pity or spite, I'm doing this as a personal exercise that'll help me appreciate my voice. Words are a powerful thing though and I've learned that the hard way. Be careful what you say and how you say it because there will be people that won't forget them. I agree that I've been the victim and then again, I've been the perpetrator too. I just want to be a better person and have balance between myself and others. I'm tired of feeling sickeningly guilty whenever I do something for myself or don't feel like I'm doing enough for others.

So, with this vow of silence, I'm signing off. Wish me luck!
 
bpd2020

bpd2020

Well-known member
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
5,344
Location
England
It sounds like you taking a vow of silence is just a different way of punishing yourself. You are not a bad person to have argued with your mother. People argue with loved ones all the time. It is just part of having relationships with others. I really hope you can forgive yourself.
 
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