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I'm struggling with depression and non functional and don't know what to do

H

hp23432

New member
Joined
Mar 3, 2020
Messages
2
Location
US
I'm incredibly depressed, it's hard for me to do anything. I have seen doctors in the past, tried many meds, but was diagnosed with treatment resistant depression. I'm currently not seeing anyone because of money issues and I'm not sure how much it can really help.

I'm self employed, but I'm not working, and have not been for a couple of years now. Just living off savings, and I can't bring myself to do anything. I don't even know what to do at this point since I've been so far gone and out of it.

I just feel I shouldn't even bring this up to anyone from past bad experiences of bringing up depression, and then everyone just assumes I'm some lazy bum.

How do I get myself out of this? I just can't see my life getting better now that I"m almost 40 and alone and life has gone nothing like I would have wished.
 
O

Orangeade

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 23, 2021
Messages
1,686
Location
England
I'm incredibly depressed, it's hard for me to do anything. I have seen doctors in the past, tried many meds, but was diagnosed with treatment resistant depression. I'm currently not seeing anyone because of money issues and I'm not sure how much it can really help.

I'm self employed, but I'm not working, and have not been for a couple of years now. Just living off savings, and I can't bring myself to do anything. I don't even know what to do at this point since I've been so far gone and out of it.

I just feel I shouldn't even bring this up to anyone from past bad experiences of bringing up depression, and then everyone just assumes I'm some lazy bum.

How do I get myself out of this? I just can't see my life getting better now that I"m almost 40 and alone and life has gone nothing like I would have wished.
Never think of yourself as lazy! Depression makes us just feel numb and not want to do anything! Thank you for sharing and i have found this forum to be a help in moments of chaos. Sending you a lot of love and hoping we can help x
 
S

Sarabi_Gyarados

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 20, 2019
Messages
333
Location
UK
Depression isn't laziness. You're unwell. Have you had moments in life where your depression has felt less, or you've felt happy? Can you recall why this was?
 
J

jurdeu

Member
Joined
Jan 10, 2022
Messages
7
Location
Michigan
Hi, I’m not in quite the same situation as you but maybe knowing that others get it might be helpful. Probably not, since any reassurance I’m give makes me feel worse or just slides right off of me, but I might as well try.

I used to be very enthusiastic and productive about all the things I enjoy. I still have the drive to do many of those things, but they don’t give me the same joy they once did. Thinking about it makes me so upset, but I also feel like I don’t deserve to enjoy things, as I have cultivated an incredibly robust self loathing that is reinforced by what seems like the absence of support (and in all likelihood is, I don’t know).

I only say this to tell you that depression (in combination with OCD) has stolen the fire from my heart and replaced it with a stranger, colder feeling. I don’t have the desire to do much of anything anymore. I feel wrong sleeping, I feel wrong working, I feel wrong doing anything I used to enjoy. You, like me, have been robbed of your passion. I get it. Unfortunately I don’t know what can be done about it. Maybe you can’t afford therapy, especially if you live in the US. I know I can’t.

I don’t have any advice for you, but just know that you are being stolen from.
I'm incredibly depressed, it's hard for me to do anything. I have seen doctors in the past, tried many meds, but was diagnosed with treatment resistant depression. I'm currently not seeing anyone because of money issues and I'm not sure how much it can really help.

I'm self employed, but I'm not working, and have not been for a couple of years now. Just living off savings, and I can't bring myself to do anything. I don't even know what to do at this point since I've been so far gone and out of it.

I just feel I shouldn't even bring this up to anyone from past bad experiences of bringing up depression, and then everyone just assumes I'm some lazy bum.

How do I get myself out of this? I just can't see my life getting better now that I"m almost 40 and alone and life has gone nothing like I would have wished.
 
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