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I'm starting to get burned out from taking care of my two second cousins.

B

Black Despondency

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Mar 29, 2020
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261
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United states
💩 represents my first cousin that likes jail and is the father of my two second cousins I help take care of.
My two second cousins are boys age 11 and 14. The younger one is turning into his father that is a 💩 that I would of disposed of years ago if I hadn't been soaking in despair and anxiety during a couple of accurances. My first cousin their father 💩 has physically assaulted both our grandparents that have since passed away years ago. He has also physically assaulted our Aunt multiple times before and after she took on being the primary parent of 💩 children. 💩 was raised mostly by our grandparents he treated the people that cared the most and treated him the best like trash. I'm struggling to treat my 11 year old cousin like a small confused angry human being that just needs guidance. I'm not sure what to do I can only handle so much stress and don't know how to attempt to keep him from turning into 💩 his father. I sacrificed a lot over the past 5+ years, helping take care of two children I don't particularly like with a mother and father who are terrible people that are constantly stuck in jail. My mother is starting to act like they are my children, I will have to remind her that I'm not their father and didn't want them around in the first place. I feel like my mother has no appreciation for the Hell I have went through for her sister that decided to take custody of these two children that have severe behavioral problems. I will probably add more details tomorrow and hopefully sleep soon.
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

Taking a break
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Mar 9, 2012
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19,206
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Tigger and Willow's house UK
Would it be possible for them to go to experienced foster carers to teach them right from wrong? idk how it works in the USA, whether you can hand them over to social services or whatever its called where you are :hug:
 
B

Black Despondency

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Joined
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Messages
261
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United states
They know right from wrong pretty well, they just don't bother to think for two second to apply it or just don't care. I'm going to see what can be done to give them both a reality check of what might happen if they acting like little dirtbags.
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

Taking a break
Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
19,206
Location
Tigger and Willow's house UK
They know right from wrong pretty well, they just don't bother to think for two second to apply it or just don't care. I'm going to see what can be done to give them both a reality check of what might happen if they acting like little dirtbags.
it does sound to me like it might be beneficial for someone with experience of getting kids back onto the right side of the laws gets involved :hug:
 
SunnyDaze

SunnyDaze

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Jun 11, 2017
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3,543
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I'm sure those kids are hurting inside and need help from a professional.

I would imagine they've been severely affected by all of this.

Sounds like they need compassion and understanding for the trauma they've been through,not a reality check.
 
SunnyDaze

SunnyDaze

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Also,it might be best for someone else to care for them?
 
B

Black Despondency

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Joined
Mar 29, 2020
Messages
261
Location
United states
Sigh it's a complex mess of reasons my Aunt has kept taking care of my two second cousins regardless of the strain it puts on everyone involved they have a psychiatrist, therapist and social workers have been involved with helping to try and fulfill the boys needs. It would take me pages of writing to form a decent idea of how everything has happened. My family tree on one side has a lot of mental illness, but one apple turned out to be rotten all the way to the seeds. There at least a few people with intrest in getting custody of these two children, but their father, mother and grandmother are all scum to put it nicely. The mother of the children thinks it funny her sister sexually abused one of her children. I think she might have a court date coming up about trying to get custody of her children that she sees as welfare money. My grandmother got a gun a few years before she passed away from COPD lung failure, I'm 95% sure it was intended for a certain grandchild of hers, if he tried to physical assault her again.
 
B

Black Despondency

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 29, 2020
Messages
261
Location
United states
I'm sure those kids are hurting inside and need help from a professional.

I would imagine they've been severely affected by all of this.

Sounds like they need compassion and understanding for the trauma they've been through,not a reality check.
I have managed to treat them exactly how I wish I was treated when I was a child. This has worked fairly well for the older of the two children. A calm voice a nice discussion that's non prosecutorial conversation for most offenses. I have got the older of the two to tell the truth and react in a manner that I can usually tell if he is lying. The older boy now knows that telling the truth to me at least will be much easier than lying. His younger brother still just spits out lies in a manner that he has next to no tell if any if he is lying. I guess I will try to work on getting him to learn the at vantage of not lying. In my opinion I've done a better parenting job than my mother or Aunt, because I have basically been in a very similar situation psychologically to either of the children, but I'm starting to struggle to stay level headed.
 
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