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Im starting to become mean?

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Bubbles17

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Oct 24, 2021
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Didn't read through all the reactions, but I feel you. My mom always told me I'm too good for this world. Which I guess is true. I am always trying my best to be nice to other people and it always backfires on me. Sometimes I am blunt or impulsive and say things that could hurt others. But people who know me well enough know I never mean that. I'm too nice 🤣🤣

Really, if I get angry at someone there's a damn well good reason for it. I don't easily get actually angry. Pissed off, annoyed etc? Yes that for sure. But really really angry? No.

What is most important is that you be you. No matter what other people think. Yeah that's easier said than done for sure. But at least try. And it's important to stand up for yourself and give some boundaries. Also that's not easy. But you can learn. The most important thing is that you have at least 1 person that has your back. And if you haven't found that person yet, don't worry. You'll still meet them somewhere along the way. What everyone else thinks of you is not your concern. I've also been bullied and judged my whole life. Even by people who had ADHD and ASD themselves. It's awful. But being yourself is most important. And not being the best in the social game is nothing to be ashamed off. There's enough people who have that same struggle. I am also one of them. So, if you need to vent on me, go ahead :)
 
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morty2

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I can be ,,or seem mean now sometimes. ive just had it with being passive,too nice because you get walked over. I have to watch myself as it can tip over into real nastiness,,its a balancing act with me. i was a quiet,shy little girl who never said BOO to a GOOSE you see.
 
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Bubbles17

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Oct 24, 2021
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Netherlands
I can be ,,or seem mean now sometimes. ive just had it with being passive,too nice because you get walked over. I have to watch myself as it can tip over into real nastiness,,its a balancing act with me. i was a quiet,shy little girl who never said BOO to a GOOSE you see.
You can be very nice and now be walked all over. It exists. Finding the balance can be difficult but it's also simple: whenever someome crosses your line, you tell them. If necessarily firmly. Doesn't mean you have to be like that all the time. Just when necessary :)
 
Linda1989

Linda1989

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Mar 12, 2016
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You dont wont to be a asshole because you might run into the wrong person who might try to fight you. Thats why Im a nice person because I scared of fighting and being screamed at. I do care for others feeling but I know people dont care for mines. People are wicked and try to stay away from them. You might say something mean to someone and they can be having a bad day they might try to kill you or themselves. Everyone goes through trials.
 
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Bubbles17

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You dont wont to be a asshole because you might run into the wrong person who might try to fight you. Thats why Im a nice person because I scared of fighting and being screamed at. I do care for others feeling but I know people dont care for mines. People are wicked and try to stay away from them. You might say something mean to someone and they can be having a bad day they might try to kill you or themselves. Everyone goes through trials.
I don't fully agree. There are good people in this world too. People also care for your feelings. Maybe not everyone but I know I do and I don't even know you. The thing is: they can't know whether they cross your boundaries or not if you don't tell them. It's not written on your forehead sadly. So you'll have to let them know. And yes, for some people to be firm with them on a bad day means you'll get some words back. But that shouldn't hold you back. You're not the asshole. They are. When you know you're not being the asshole it helps you keep your confidence too. Setting boundaries is important. It'll effect your mental and also physical health greatly. I'm talking with experience here. Really, you don't wanna land where I did just by being a people pleaser. It's not worth it.
 
stevie_sloth

stevie_sloth

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Mar 31, 2015
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1,655
I'm nice to random people when taken at superficial face value, unless they're being stupid or annoying. Then I can get a bit...mean. Very dismissive, slightly aggressive (like if someone's walking towards me not looking where they're going, I'll purposefully let them bump into me. Then when they apologise, I just grunt at them or mumble something like "moron".

I'm nice to my friends.

I'm very nice to my loved ones.

I'm nice to online people unless they act like idiots or annoy me in some serious way. Then I have to watch myself that I don't get too cruel and cutting. If I care enough to.
 

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