I'm sorry. I feel like I've lied to you all.

L

LoveToBake

Guest
Hey everyone,

I wanted to originally post this in the other mental disorder section but there is not a section for factitious disorders.
I guess it's a form of self harm.

I don't know how to admit this. But.

I think I might have Munchausen Syndrome. ...

I... Have a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. But I feel like I faked my mania symptoms.

I do hear voices.
And I do have a rare muscular disease.

But it isn't enough.

... I love the hospital environment and the attention that comes with it...

Sickening, I know.

Two years ago I had a genuine infection. But. I played on it and made the hospital think I had a gallbladder infection.
I was given IV antibiotics for 2 days.
My White blood cell count was high and I did have a fever and all. But it would have passed without the need for hospitalisation and antibiotics.

I use to work in hospitals and I loved it.

I keep thinking about being in a hospital. I think about wanting to be sick or injured.
I'm obcessive about the hospital environment. I keep wishing that I could go.

Sad, I know.

I've never admitted this to anybody.
I certainly don't want to.talk to a GP or psychiatrist about this encase "cry wolf syndrome" affects or blocks treatment for my muscular disease. I genuinely need pain killers.

I hope you all can forgive me and don't think I'm strange.

I'm really struggling with this odd fascination for hospitals and medical attention.

Unicorns. X
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2013
Messages
30,233
Location
Mordor
Interesting admission.

I think you have made the first brave step of admitting that you have this problem, and now you can tackle it.
 
L

LoveToBake

Guest
Interesting admission.

I think you have made the first brave step of admitting that you have this problem, and now you can tackle it.
Hey, thanks.

I'm not sure how to tackle it.

The problem with a Munchausen diagnosis is the "cry wolf" part.
I have been diagnosed with central cores disease and there is no cure. The only relief from the pain it creates is painkillers via the pain clinic.
I can't risk having them think I'm faking my pain or something and stopping painkillers. Because my mobility relies on them painkillers. (With CCD, my muscles contract but don't release properly, causing a burning pain in the muscle during strenuous exercise.)

If I see a therapist, they could pass the information onto the GP. If I see a psychiatrist, they could diagnose me with Munchausen Syndrome and it could affect my genuine medical problem.

When I was working in mental health, there was a woman whom was assumed faking anorexia because she had a diagnosis of Munchausen Syndrome.

If something genuine came up, be it my muscular disease or something else, medical professionals may not take it seriously.

But I know I need some help to manage my strange addiction to hospitals.

I know that I probably crave that attention because I didn't get attention from my mum as a child and she use to take me to the GP and tell me to put on illnesses for medication for her own gain. My mum wanted antibiotics and all sorts.
 
SunnyDaze

SunnyDaze

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2017
Messages
1,985
Location
USA
. I know that I probably crave that attention because I didn't get attention from my mum as a child and she use to take me to the GP and tell me to put on illnesses for medication for her own gain. My mum wanted antibiotics and all sorts
Maybe work on the need for attention with a therapist?Maybe also work through not receiving the attention you needed and wanted as a child?

Maybe working on those issues would be very benificial to you.You don't necessarily have to tell the part about hospitals in order to be helped.
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2013
Messages
30,233
Location
Mordor
Hey, thanks.

I'm not sure how to tackle it.

The problem with a Munchausen diagnosis is the "cry wolf" part.
I have been diagnosed with central cores disease and there is no cure. The only relief from the pain it creates is painkillers via the pain clinic.
I can't risk having them think I'm faking my pain or something and stopping painkillers. Because my mobility relies on them painkillers. (With CCD, my muscles contract but don't release properly, causing a burning pain in the muscle during strenuous exercise.)

If I see a therapist, they could pass the information onto the GP. If I see a psychiatrist, they could diagnose me with Munchausen Syndrome and it could affect my genuine medical problem.

When I was working in mental health, there was a woman whom was assumed faking anorexia because she had a diagnosis of Munchausen Syndrome.

If something genuine came up, be it my muscular disease or something else, medical professionals may not take it seriously.

But I know I need some help to manage my strange addiction to hospitals.

I know that I probably crave that attention because I didn't get attention from my mum as a child and she use to take me to the GP and tell me to put on illnesses for medication for her own gain. My mum wanted antibiotics and all sorts.
You know - I would not sweat it. :)

You do appear to have genuine conditions so try not to worry too much about it.

We all have to fight for resources in mental health - it is part of the modern world.

Yeah perhaps you like the treatment a bit too much, but thats okay - I dont really see an issue.
 
L

LoveToBake

Guest
Maybe work on the need for attention with a therapist?Maybe also work through not receiving the attention you needed and wanted as a child?

Maybe working on those issues would be very benificial to you.You don't necessarily have to tell the part about hospitals in order to be helped.
I've had lots of therapy in the past in regards to my mother. Around 3 years worth.
I don't feel like any of it has made a difference.
I feel like I can go on about my mother all day and it wouldn't change a thing. :/
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

Well-known member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
9,647
Location
England
Hi unicorns,
Please don't feel guilty you are ill and have been ill. Well done for admitting you have a problem. It isn't your fault, you were taught as a child to have illnesses.
I'm sure now you recognise this behaviour you can stop.
I believe you.
Take care
 
Mayfair

Mayfair

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jun 12, 2010
Messages
33,782
Location
8,539
You know - I would not sweat it. :)

You do appear to have genuine conditions so try not to worry too much about it.

We all have to fight for resources in mental health - it is part of the modern world.

Yeah perhaps you like the treatment a bit too much, but thats okay - I dont really see an issue.
I agree. I can't see much of a serious issue at all Unicorns.

Everyone strives to get the best for themselves... and for everyone, that is something individually different.

By getting it off your chest, you can perhaps move ahead with things, and try to no feign things as much because false treatment probably is not the best treatment for you long term.

It's not something I would want to talk about with a therapist, but sharing it on here should make you feel better if therapy is anything to go by! :)



p.s. in post 1 you said 'sickening, I know'... I don't think it is. I think the 'sad, I know' was a better term, because we often do things that when later thought, think we're 'sad' for doing it.

I wouldn't beat yourself up over this at all Unicorns :)
 
Last edited:
R_Sxo

R_Sxo

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 24, 2017
Messages
2,142
Hey everyone,

I wanted to originally post this in the other mental disorder section but there is not a section for factitious disorders.
I guess it's a form of self harm.

I don't know how to admit this. But.

I think I might have Munchausen Syndrome. ...

I... Have a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. But I feel like I faked my mania symptoms.

I do hear voices.
And I do have a rare muscular disease.

But it isn't enough.

... I love the hospital environment and the attention that comes with it...

Sickening, I know.

Two years ago I had a genuine infection. But. I played on it and made the hospital think I had a gallbladder infection.
I was given IV antibiotics for 2 days.
My White blood cell count was high and I did have a fever and all. But it would have passed without the need for hospitalisation and antibiotics.

I use to work in hospitals and I loved it.

I keep thinking about being in a hospital. I think about wanting to be sick or injured.
I'm obcessive about the hospital environment. I keep wishing that I could go.

Sad, I know.

I've never admitted this to anybody.
I certainly don't want to.talk to a GP or psychiatrist about this encase "cry wolf syndrome" affects or blocks treatment for my muscular disease. I genuinely need pain killers.

I hope you all can forgive me and don't think I'm strange.

I'm really struggling with this odd fascination for hospitals and medical attention.

Unicorns. X
Hi Unicorns,

It takes a lot of bravery to admit something like this, so well done for that.

I think what you need to do is explore this fascination with hospitals, particularly the attention. Why are you so fond of this attention? Maybe you didn't feel that you got the attention you wanted from family or friends? It's worth exploring this to locate the cause, and deal with it at the source of the problem.

Much love <3
 
Kerome

Kerome

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 29, 2013
Messages
12,748
Location
Europe
I think it's a very good thing you've made this admission to yourself and to the forum, it sounds like the kind of inner revelation that could change things for you. As you've said it's something you have to be very careful admitting to doctors as once something like this is in your medical file it can haunt you and can be used to deny you help you might need.

So the first thing is to practice awareness, I think. If you can keep looking out for instances where this behaviour crops up, then recognising them is the first step to letting go of this behaviour. Ultimately you don't really need it in your life, it's just a question of letting go.
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
Justafriend95 Self Harm Forum 14
A Self Harm Forum 14
A Self Harm Forum 5
midnightphoenix Self Harm Forum 41
midnightphoenix Self Harm Forum 44
Top