M
mwake
Member
- Joined
- Mar 31, 2009
- Messages
- 21
I am in my thirties and I have always been shy ever since I was young, At the moment the biggest thing that is destroying me is my inability to talk properly, I seem to become negatively analytical whenever I talk. Its killing me. I want to communicate but stop my self from talking or when I do I sound tough or posh because I am monitoring every syllable I utter its terrible. This comes on top of depression and a huge lack of confidence. Coupled with the fact that I've lost my sense of humour I feel so 'locked in myself', I wish I could talk without beating myself up.
Everybody hates me and because they say I talk like I think like I'm better than them, that I have a high opinion of myself. I don't! As I said when I talk I consciously monitor every letter and syllable which makes me sound so posh, but I don't mean to, i really don't. My voice goes all trebbally and squeaky and I feel silly to be honest but its almost as if I cant stop it, like I'm trying to be perfect. Sometimes I get annoyed because people expect a stereotype, like just because I'm a big guy I've got to have a deep voice. Does anybody know what I mean, does anybody know what it feel like to have no confidence in the way one speaks.
Sorry if this makes no sense to people reading this, but please help if you can understand what I am trying to say.
I feel so alienated from society bause I'm consious of thhe fact that when I talk people will judge me. All in my head...
Thanks
Everybody hates me and because they say I talk like I think like I'm better than them, that I have a high opinion of myself. I don't! As I said when I talk I consciously monitor every letter and syllable which makes me sound so posh, but I don't mean to, i really don't. My voice goes all trebbally and squeaky and I feel silly to be honest but its almost as if I cant stop it, like I'm trying to be perfect. Sometimes I get annoyed because people expect a stereotype, like just because I'm a big guy I've got to have a deep voice. Does anybody know what I mean, does anybody know what it feel like to have no confidence in the way one speaks.
Sorry if this makes no sense to people reading this, but please help if you can understand what I am trying to say.
I feel so alienated from society bause I'm consious of thhe fact that when I talk people will judge me. All in my head...
Thanks