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    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

I'm so confused and deperessed

C

Candy555

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Feb 7, 2020
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I think I just sent a message to the autism forum by mistake when I meant it for depression forum.Im so hopeless and pathetic.Now I can't be bothered saying it all again.I just don't want to be here in this shitty life anymore.So alone and longing for a human connection.Im so sorry, I muck everything up.
 
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bpd2020

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Please do not worry. It takes time to learn how to navigate the forum. You are not pathetic at all. I remember when we last spoke I mentioned therapy. Is that something you would like to try? I think it would be so helpful for all you are going through.
 
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Nukelavee

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Just so you know, severe emotional stress like depression messes up all of your thinking, it makes it easy to make mistakes that seem silly.

The important thing is that you actually made the attempt to talk about it. That's one of the hardest steps.
 
C

Candy555

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Please do not worry. It takes time to learn how to navigate the forum. You are not pathetic at all. I remember when we last spoke I mentioned therapy. Is that something you would like to try? I think it would be so helpful for all you are going through.
Thank you for your kind message.I use to see a councillor many years ago,but it wasn't much help.I actually went for many years.It never got to the root of things.And I have tried explaining how bad I feel to my gp but I find them hopeless.They always say they don't think I'm at risk of suicide.Which I never understand as I know myself I am.I have had depression all my life and it only takes once to do it properly and carry it through.I know I am not right.All my live I have struggled.And although obviously I want to be here as long as possible for my girls,I feel I may not be able to control it as I feel so bad at times and the feeling of wanting to end it could easily take over, especially now w they are grown up.I know there are things not quite right about me but nobody really understands.Over the years I have asked for a psychiatric assessment. And each time pschiatrists say I'm not clinically depressed.Which I find incredibly frustrating as a know how bad I feel.It would really help me to get a diagnosis.Im certain I also have border personality disorder and avoidance personality disorder.But they say I haven't.If I thought I could get a diagnosis if I paid for a private pschiatrist and if I had the cash I would do that.Do you know where I could get an actual diagnosis?I know it would really help me.But gp or pschiatrist never understand this.Sorry to go on and on but it all goes round in my mind and I feel so angry that I have never been given the help I need.
 
C

Candy555

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Joined
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Messages
63
Location
Scotland
Just so you know, severe emotional stress like depression messes up all of your thinking, it makes it easy to make mistakes that seem silly.

The important thing is that you actually made the attempt to talk about it. That's one of the hardest steps.
Thanks for your knowledge be words,
 
T

treasurebox

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Do not lose hope. Know that there will be better days and they are coming. Listening to good and uplifting songs on youtibe helps me. It makes me think and feel better. Also doing what you love to do or doinh what you are good at will add excitement, happiness and positivity in your life. I love writing, so I write stories and articles. What are you good at? Is it cooking, baking, doing arts and crafts, gardening and others. Do it. You can even earn money from it and be successful.
 
daffy

daffy

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If you’re thinking about suicide and are in immediate danger, please call your local emergency number (i.e. in the UK call 999, in the USA or Canada call 911, in Australia call 000 and in New Zealand call 111) or call the international emergency number of 112.

If you have been affected by the contents of this thread and would like to speak to someone about your feelings you can call one of the following helplines:

In the UK and Ireland, the Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123.
In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255.
In Canada, the Suicide Prevention Service on 1.833.456.4566.
In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is on 13 11 14.
In New Zealand, the Need to Talk service is on 1737 or 080017371737.
Other international helplines can be found at www.befrienders.org.
 
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bpd2020

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Thank you for your kind message.I use to see a councillor many years ago,but it wasn't much help.I actually went for many years.It never got to the root of things.And I have tried explaining how bad I feel to my gp but I find them hopeless.They always say they don't think I'm at risk of suicide.Which I never understand as I know myself I am.I have had depression all my life and it only takes once to do it properly and carry it through.I know I am not right.All my live I have struggled.And although obviously I want to be here as long as possible for my girls,I feel I may not be able to control it as I feel so bad at times and the feeling of wanting to end it could easily take over, especially now w they are grown up.I know there are things not quite right about me but nobody really understands.Over the years I have asked for a psychiatric assessment. And each time pschiatrists say I'm not clinically depressed.Which I find incredibly frustrating as a know how bad I feel.It would really help me to get a diagnosis.Im certain I also have border personality disorder and avoidance personality disorder.But they say I haven't.If I thought I could get a diagnosis if I paid for a private pschiatrist and if I had the cash I would do that.Do you know where I could get an actual diagnosis?I know it would really help me.But gp or pschiatrist never understand this.Sorry to go on and on but it all goes round in my mind and I feel so angry that I have never been given the help I need.
I am so very sorry your GP is not supporting you. It is quite possible you do have something other then depression and that would be why counselling was unhelpful. Counselling does not help bpd, in my experience. It is so unfair you are being told you are not clinically depressed or at risk of suicide. You are the one who knows how you feel not them. I never understand how a person needs to say they are suicidal in order to get any help. Is it possible you are not expressing the extend of your pain? That may be why the psychiatrists have not been helpful. Is there a GP at your practice who deals with mental illness? If not maybe you do need to change to another practice. I am so very sorry you are being ignored. It is totally unacceptable.

Please do not apologise for talking about how you feel. This is a place you can do that.
 
C

Candy555

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Feb 7, 2020
Messages
63
Location
Scotland
I am so very sorry your GP is not supporting you. It is quite possible you do have something other then depression and that would be why counselling was unhelpful. Counselling does not help bpd, in my experience. It is so unfair you are being told you are not clinically depressed or at risk of suicide. You are the one who knows how you feel not them. I never understand how a person needs to say they are suicidal in order to get any help. Is it possible you are not expressing the extend of your pain? That may be why the psychiatrists have not been helpful. Is there a GP at your practice who deals with mental illness? If not maybe you do need to change to another practice. I am so very sorry you are being ignored. It is totally unacceptable.

Please do not apologise for talking about how you feel. This is a place you can do that.
Thank you for being so supportive and understanding.It truly means a lot to me.One of my problems is expressing how bad I feel.I try to say how bad I feel but it never comes out in the way I need it to, to really reflect the extent of how desperate the feel.If you know what I mean.Its just words.So hard to explain.I may try changing surgery.To be honest, it actually makes me feel worse trying to explain to gp, as i end up coming away so frustrated they are not understanding me.I think they say I have an ideation with suicide.It just feels they don't take me 😒 seriously.They don't think I am at risk as I don't have a suicide plan.But I know I don't necessarily need a plan as sometimes it just comes over me.Thank you so much though for listening to me and taking me seriously and thank you for caring.
 
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bpd2020

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I too struggle to express how I feel. In my experience mental health workers take that to mean we are okay and able to function. It is very frustrating. To go by you not having a plan to end your life is just so stupid. Often people have no plan and it is done on impulse so that shows a total lack of understanding from them. Maybe you may find MIND helpful.

You are so welcome.
 
F

Fairy Lucretia

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you don't have to apologise ,post anywhere its ok
i have often found people think im ok unless i cry ,i find it very difficult to talk to professionals unless i know them very well
i find it easier to talk on here

how do you feel now? better i hope lots of love x Lu x
 
C

Candy555

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 7, 2020
Messages
63
Location
Scotland
you don't have to apologise ,post anywhere its ok
i have often found people think im ok unless i cry ,i find it very difficult to talk to professionals unless i know them very well
i find it easier to talk on here

how do you feel now? better i hope lots of love x Lu x
Hi thanks for your very kind understanding message,I still feel really down and hopeless.I feel that most of the time.
 

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