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I'm scared

He1ena

He1ena

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Jan 28, 2008
Messages
255
Location
South Shields
I'm scared i might have an eating disorder. I don't know how to categorise it though. My weight has always gone up and down drastically since leaving school. I was 7 stone at one point through drug abuse. Last year in December i started severely comfort eating (not helped by the fact i was on mirtazapine). I put 3 stone of weight on in 6 weeks.

I started exercising heavily for about 3 weeks. So much so i suffered severe migraines for about 3 hours every morning and was advised to stop.

Since then I've got back to trying not to eat. I've done this before with some success (if you can call it that). I manage to get a kind of physical high from hunger pains. The same high i got from cutting with a razor. When they get to bad i eat. I feel physically repulsed when I'm finished and sometimes (not all the time) go and make myself sick.

Is this an eating disorder? Or is it self harm? Is this normal for someone in my position?

Strange thing is, i don't want help i don't think. I manage to vent what i used to do through cutting. And no one knows so it doesn't hurt any one. They all just think I'm on a diet. Id don't even know why I'm writing this.
 
irishmam

irishmam

Member
Founding Member
Joined
Feb 4, 2008
Messages
21
Location
uk
Hi

Hi He1ena,

I can totally relate to every thing you have said in your post.

Don't really know how best to advise you, but from what you have said it certainly sounds like you might have some 'issues' (as my GP would say!!!).

I think you did the right thing by posting and just getting it off your mind.

Have you got any one you can talk to about these problems?? It is so hard dealing with these things on your own. I could not talk directly to anyone about my problems with food but I wrote it all down and gave a copy to my doctor and a copy to my other half and although I did feel a bit silly, I felt better getting it off my chest.

Hope this helps you just a little bit and big :hug:

xxxxx
 
yakuza

yakuza

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Mar 20, 2008
Messages
812
Location
Edinburgh
Info

I'm scared i might have an eating disorder. I don't know how to categorise it though. My weight has always gone up and down drastically since leaving school. I was 7 stone at one point through drug abuse. Last year in December i started severely comfort eating (not helped by the fact i was on mirtazapine). I put 3 stone of weight on in 6 weeks.

I started exercising heavily for about 3 weeks. So much so i suffered severe migraines for about 3 hours every morning and was advised to stop.

Since then I've got back to trying not to eat. I've done this before with some success (if you can call it that). I manage to get a kind of physical high from hunger pains. The same high i got from cutting with a razor. When they get to bad i eat. I feel physically repulsed when I'm finished and sometimes (not all the time) go and make myself sick.

Is this an eating disorder? Or is it self harm? Is this normal for someone in my position?

Strange thing is, i don't want help i don't think. I manage to vent what i used to do through cutting. And no one knows so it doesn't hurt any one. They all just think I'm on a diet. Id don't even know why I'm writing this.


The exact cause of binge eating disorder is still unknown, and researchers are just beginning to understand the consequences of the disorder and the factors affecting its development. Like other eating disorders, binge eating disorder seems to result from a combination of psychological, biological and environmental factors.

Binge eating disorder has been linked to other mental health disorders. Nearly half of all people with binge eating disorder have a history of depression, although the exact nature of the link is unclear. Many people report that anger, sadness, boredom, anxiety or other negative emotions can trigger an episode of binge eating. Impulsive behavior and certain other psychological problems also seem to be more common in people with binge eating disorder.

Eating disorders, including binge eating disorder, tend to run in families, suggesting that a susceptibility to eating disorders might be inherited. Researchers also are looking into how brain chemicals and metabolism (the way the body burns calories) affect the development of binge eating disorder.

People with binge eating disorder often come from families that overeat or put an unnatural emphasis on food; for example, using it as a reward or as a way to soothe or comfort.

Although it might not be possible to prevent all cases of binge eating disorder, it is helpful to begin treatment in people as soon as they begin to have symptoms. In addition, teaching and encouraging healthy eating habits and realistic attitudes about food and body image also might be helpful in preventing the development or worsening of eating disorders.

:hug:
 
Libra1

Libra1

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Jan 12, 2008
Messages
515
Location
West Midlands
Hi Helena, sorry to hear your eating is a bit topsy turvy somewhat:( Do you think it has anything to do with your move, are you worrying unnecesarily about your little one?

I haven't experienced eating problems myself, but do suffer with depression. Are you due to go and see your Gp soon/health vistor, or perhaps your surgery has a practise nurse you could confide in and get some advice.

Sorry I cannot be a bit more supportive, here is a :hug:

Keep posting Helena, you know you are amongst friends and we do care about you.:flowers: Hope others will be along soon.
Take care.
xx
 
S

Sall1

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
May 6, 2008
Messages
477
Location
North East England
Hi He1ena

Hi He1ena,

I'm new on here and have just read your thread.

Wow - I can empathise with why you feel scared as I really get a sense from what you say about how confusing and overwhelming it must feel for you right now. :hug:

It seems important for you in some ways to attach a lable to what you're feeling which I can understand. If you do have an eating disorder alongside a tendency to sometimes self harm as your release, just talking about it can be a really positive step sometimes. I know that's very easy for me to say whilst i'm sat here typing this message on my computer. Also if I was that good at talking about my own feelings then perhaps I wouldn't be in the mess that i'm in right now too.

From personal experience - having an eating disorder and a history of self harm, depression and anxiety is and can sound like such a heavy burden to carry, but I guess everyone finds a way somehow until we can't anymore. Things catch up with us all eventually, the real question is how do we know when we are ready to receive help??

I got what you said about not being sure if you wanted help at this time. For me there's something 'safe' in keping things as they are and not rocking the boat anymore than it already is. I just wonder how long it will take before we get sick of the rocking? Sorry I think metaphorically sometimes.

I have to tell you that i've now been seeking support from my GP about my eating disorder where some of your symptoms sound like mine - although you might want to see your GP for a chat - they are the experts not me. My GP has referred me to a psychologist who i'm seeing for the first time on Friday. This feels frightening and definately out of my comfort zone but i've always felt part of the decision making process about my care and this has helped considerably. I hope your GP can be as supportive if that's something that you might consider doing??

I can appreciate how difficult it is to walk into your GP office for the first time and tell it like it is. It takes a big push of inner emotional strength but once you've done it it could be good for you. Please know however, that you have control over what you do and this has to be your decision whatever you decide. If you would like to chat some more about any of this, i'll check the forum a few times a week to see how you are getting on.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Sall1
xx
 
G

GtrFan385

Member
Joined
Aug 12, 2008
Messages
6
Hi He1ena,
After reading your post the first thought in my head was whether or not it was really important to categorize your eating habits as a disorder or not. I don't think you should be concerned with label yourself as having an eating disorder or not. What struck me the most was when you talk about getting pleasure out of harming your body. Although you think that since nobody knows it can't hurt anybody and I agree. What you are doing is only harming yourself and nobody is going to care about you if you don't care about you! I wish there was something I could do to convince you to get help. Talk to your general practitioner and get a referral. You only get one shot at this life and I would hate to see you live it in pain. I think it is so great that you posted your feelings.....I can tell that some part of your is reaching out for help. I know it has been a few months since you have written us but I was hoping for an update. How are things going? How are you doing? I would love to hear from you....
 
Q

quality factor

Guest
Hi

Hi Helena,
Just read your thread too. You say that no one knows so it doesn't hurt anyone. The only person you are hurting is yourself, you are obviously being secretive about your cutting and are doing it for a reason. I cut myself occaisionally, usually when I am feeling angry, in a strange way the cutting helps to release my anger, however i don't feel good about myself after. But it doesn't stop me..
I found a good way of asking my GP for help was to write my thoughts down, it doesn't have to be elaborate, just words or statements will do. You will probably find that once you've broken the ice so to speak, your feelings will just tumble out.
You are obviously thoughtful about your situation and I feel it would ease your mind if you could share your thoughts with an understanding person. I've found in the short time I've been on this site that there are people willing to help.
It would be good to see how you are getting along.
 
H

homegirl

Member
Joined
Aug 20, 2008
Messages
21
Location
south west england
I'm scared i might have an eating disorder. I don't know how to categorise it though. My weight has always gone up and down drastically since leaving school. I was 7 stone at one point through drug abuse. Last year in December i started severely comfort eating (not helped by the fact i was on mirtazapine). I put 3 stone of weight on in 6 weeks.

I started exercising heavily for about 3 weeks. So much so i suffered severe migraines for about 3 hours every morning and was advised to stop.

Since then I've got back to trying not to eat. I've done this before with some success (if you can call it that). I manage to get a kind of physical high from hunger pains. The same high i got from cutting with a razor. When they get to bad i eat. I feel physically repulsed when I'm finished and sometimes (not all the time) go and make myself sick.

Is this an eating disorder? Or is it self harm? Is this normal for someone in my position?

Strange thing is, i don't want help i don't think. I manage to vent what i used to do through cutting. And no one knows so it doesn't hurt any one. They all just think I'm on a diet. Id don't even know why I'm writing this.
I have been reading your posting. You asked if what is happening is an eating disorder or self harm. I think it is both. I am not sure people do it but I have done what you are doing. It is so destructive and I can relate to how you be repulsed by what you do.

I dont know if there is a cure for eating disorders, anymore than a cure for alcoholism. Even if somebody who has a drink problem doesnt drink for years they always seem to be classified as an alcoholic because it seems to be to do with self control rather than cure.

I think you should try to have a chat with your doctor. I dont know what they can do for you but perhaps you could have counselling to look at why you do this to your body.

I am sorry I could not be more helpful.
 
T

Twylight

Guest
Hi Helena, I think what your describing is called: Borderline Personality Disorder.
There's a few good forums which specialise on this disorder on the net.
 
M

Missfit

Active member
Joined
Sep 9, 2008
Messages
26
Hiya, i'm not sure if we can put other web addys here, but there's an eating disorder place (IM me for info) & you can call them, when I thought I had one I called & spoke to them & they got me to see my GP (If yuou have a Psyc mention this to them) & then I went for an assessment at the ED unit & was diagnosed. Mine's part of being BPD tho. Speak to your GP or Psyc if you're concerned & they might refer you to the local ed unit, gl.
 
S

sweetness

New member
Joined
Oct 28, 2008
Messages
2
Location
My own head most of the time
Hi,

I am new but just read your message. I can completely relate to what you are going through as I have the same sort of patterns. Kind of. By the sounds of it you are EDNOS - Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified. It is not the most helpful of labels I know but thats that. It basically means that you have different tendancies of different disorders. I, for example, have compulsive over eating and anoretic tendancies but on the whole am bulimic. I am not sure if I am making sense and I am probably not being much help, sorry. I just wanted to say that you are not alone and there is actually a lot that your doctor can do for you if thats the way you like to go. Changing your meds for one to something that is better suited to you maybe. I'll stop rambling on now. Take care.

Jen
 
L

Lady Lazarus

Member
Joined
Feb 8, 2009
Messages
15
Hi
I am also new, and also can relate to what you are talking about, I see similar patterns in myself. I don't have any advice for you, I don't know what to do with myself most of the time! I just wanted you to know that you are not alone.:hug:
 
D

dark_angel

Member
Joined
Mar 26, 2009
Messages
6
Location
Nottingham
Hi H, I completely understand what you're saying. I have recently joined here to speak to people about exactly the same thing. I too don't know if I want help. In a wierd sort of way I enjoy it. As you say no one knows as there are no scars and I can get away with doing it at anytime rather than like cutting where it makes a mess. I was wondering whether to call it an eating disorder or like you say self harm, as it has replaced how I used to harm. I suppose at the end of the day it is what it is and that's all that matters. My family and people at work have noticed how much weight i've lost( I lost a stone in 2 weeks) but I also became vegetarian so they think it's because of that. I know what you mean by the hunger pain high. It's like you're body's saying "please feed me it hurts" and you're able to control it by saying " no you eat when I say". Sometimes I go days without food then others I binge and bring it up. Is this the same thing as you're going through H? And I also seem to have become very interested in cooking and I now enjoy trying new recipes. It's like it's somehow all part of the obsession. I kinda get excited knowing that I'm going to eat so I can control what I keep down. Sorry for the essay here but I've wanted to talk about it for some time now. Any thoughts anyone? D
 
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