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I'm not sure what this means



New member
Mar 13, 2019
Columbus, OH
Due to genetics and childhood trauma, I've dealt with anxiety and depression since early childhood. Now, in my adult years, I've noticed more and more that I may be dealing with something else. I've met with several different counselors and have connected with none of them. I have trouble connecting with just about anyone. I have difficulty expressing my thoughts and emotions, which has taken a toll on my relationship. I have intrusive thoughts that can be very violent. My thoughts sometimes don't feel like my own. I get so caught up in them that it seems like I am really experiencing these events sometimes. I zone out a lot as well, which makes me very clumsy and unfocused. I've realized that I can spend time with or speak to a person for weeks or even months and have no idea what they look like. My mood changes so rapidly that it seems unreal. Although I know I am not, I begin to question if I may be causing it. I could be fine one second, and the next everything seems loud and I start to feel paranoid and then depressed. Then everything returns to normal after some time. It not only interferes with my relationships with others, but it greatly affects my work and many other aspects of my life. Has anyone had any similar experiences or have any idea what this may be? Any insight is appreciated.