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I'm not a bad person.. right?

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Mujihina

Member
Joined
Oct 8, 2019
Messages
21
Location
Canada
A bit of a long story, I'm trans my family hovers on the edge of support and transphobic. I came out them when I was 19 (8 years ago) and they were against me going on hormones when I had to move back in with them after waiting almost a year and a half to get them, I've been on hormones for 3 years now, they still refuse to talk about it refusing to acknowledge I look more like a girl than a guy at this point, and if I would try to bring it up with them, my dad would turn into the drill instructor from full metal jacket, making me feel inhuman for wanting to have emotions and care about personal hygiene. On top of this, my sister is horrendously narcissistic, she would snap at you for calling her out on being wrong, would get into the worst arguments with her fiance, so in order to deal with this and try to hold on to some bits of my sanity I switched to night shifts, I'm always asleep when they're home, and refuse to come out of my room when I am up and awake at the same time as them. my fiance is on the opposite side of the world and on night shifts it's hard to have time with him.
I'm not a bad person, right? trying to make do with what I have? I do have a plan to try uni, go for a double major in German and creative writing leave the country and never talk to them again, problem is they don't want me going to college, and here having a place of your own cost more than half a months wages without utilities or food... and I feel absolutely miserable for saying I avoid and almost hate my family, even though they are the most miserable people to be around, i can never say or do anything right.. and i spend nights off alone with these thoughts not really able to enjoy my time off..
 
Confusedandanxious

Confusedandanxious

Well-known member
Joined
May 5, 2019
Messages
649
Location
Uk
You're not a bad person at all.
You're making the best you can out of an awful situation. It's unfair how your family are treating you.
 
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Darlene_MR

Member
Joined
Oct 29, 2019
Messages
13
Location
Spain
Hello,
you are not a bad person! You have the right to be who you want to be. I am sorry you find yourself in that situation. Can you not move to a shared apartment? Can you not rent only a room?
 
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Mujihina

Member
Joined
Oct 8, 2019
Messages
21
Location
Canada
Can you not move to a shared apartment? Can you not rent only a room?
I know no one that will rent with me, and I have a hard enough with the current situation, having to live with strangers could be a hell of allot worse, especially since most singularly rented rooms or shared appartments dont have the single room on the lease, and if I were to move out I'd want a paper trail showing I legally lived there, especially if the person(s) i'm sharing with turn out to be transphobic a**holes
 
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