Just reading your footer there. Such true words but I'm feeling the complete opposite to that right now. I've been going into relapse for a while but was too scared to seek help due to past issues. Now I've got the courage to do that, I have to put my dream on hold for another time. I'm not only gutted but also letting myself, my partner and family down. I feel far from perfect right now.
So I've been to my doctor this AM to only be put on happy pills which I was on last year. Then went extremely suicidal and self harming!! Nothing for my insomnia and no talking about how I'm feeling or why I'm feeling like this. I set today as my life changer, by going to my Flight Attendant interview but now that's thrown on the back burner because I had to go see him who threw medication at me and sent me off because he was running late!! Deja vu!! I could have helped myself today by going for the airline, landing my dream job and may have completely changed my whole outlook on life. Now it's back to a family business(which I'm
Thankful for) with no career progression. I don't want to be stuck in a shop for the rest of my life. Back onto my sleeping pattern, I'm sleeping at 3/4/5am then the day is gone on top of that, I'm having nightmares, really bad nightmares. Last nights for example was ISIS attacking London, I was shot as was my partner. I couldn't wake up from that and in turn leaving me scared to leave the apartment this morning. I'm at a dead end with it all. I've tried to help myself to get minimal in return.