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*IM NEW* when does it end???

L

Laylagrace

Member
Joined
Mar 18, 2014
Messages
7
Location
Newcastle, England
Hello guys, girls.. I'm new to this so my apologies if I'm posting in the wrong area, thought it's time to share my experience and battle, with people who actually know how it feels to be "mentally ill". People who understand that's not who we are! It's a part of us we are trying to over come!

Ok, so I'm 21 year old female, I have struggled with anxiety and depression since I was 17 following the death of my beloved father, grandfather and uncle ( all in space of a year ) .. I went through rough patches of drinking, going out, far to much. I would over think every situation I was in, constantly worrying about leaving the house, how I looked, wether people liked me, big crowds. Then I met my wonderful partner at 19 - he was 24, and we soon moved in together, I was so happy, so smitten. Then Bam, anxiety.. This time it was worrying if he loved me, if he was cheating on me, if his family liked me.. Which turned into obsessive thinking constantly.. One day I woke up and got bombarded with thoughts and fears about my sexuality, "did I love him? Of course I do! What if I'm secretly a lesbian? One day I'm going to leave for a women" I mean come on, these thoughts would not go away but I knew I didn't want them there, I can see myself with this man the rest of my life, so why was this happening?! I soon went to doctors and prescribed with Zoloft 50mg 6 month course, after 5 weeks I woke up and all thoughts , anxiety , depression ... GONE! Hurray freedom.

A year or more later I'm here, 21 and 20 weeks pregnant still with my lovely partner, had a wonderful happy time enjoying my pregnancy looking forward to our family beginning then Bam .. and the anxiety, depression and obsessive thinking is back, been struggling for 5 weeks now I know it doesn't sound a long time but when your going through mental agony it is!! I was placed on Zoloft 100mg 2 weeks ago, which I wasn't keen on for the health and well being of my baby, but doctor made it clear the risks are low, and my mental health is more so a risk, I'm not feeling any difference really, abit of relief from anxiety but the obsessive thinking, low moods, lack of interest in anything is still there, maybe they will work for me soon, I'm awaiting a first session with a therapist, I hope it will help. My partner and mother have been my rocks, so lucky to have them both, I' apologise again for the long post but I just wanted to share my experience with people who know what this feels like, and actually fully understand.

I'm trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel, maybe I'll get to it eventually, I just want to be the best person I can be, the best mother I can be. The old me. X
 
BlueGlass

BlueGlass

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Jul 21, 2013
Messages
14,427
Location
England
Heya. Welcome to the forum.

sorry to hear you are struggling so much at the moment, hope the meds kick in soon. :hug:
hope you find the forum a help.
x
 
Reach

Reach

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 1, 2014
Messages
1,295
Layla i hope your meds kick in soon and you start to feel better. As you know i am sure, depression is something we just have to drag ourselves through, we just have to try and look after ourselves and create plenty of opportunity to feel good, content, comforted and safe, and wait for the day when it passes, because it always does pass.
 
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