• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

I'm new...sort of.

ms_P

ms_P

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Founding Member
Joined
Jul 21, 2008
Messages
3,067
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BeNeLux
:)Hi everyone.
I joined several months ago and started posting a few days ago mainly in the not too serious Chill Out Cafe section of the site. I haven't introduced myself yet because I thought it wouldn't matter. I'm horrified about revealing anything about myself, but strangely feel the need to. I'm a 47 year old divorced woman. Over the past decade I've been tested, analyzed, and been given the dx's Borderline, self harm, major depression, PTSD, DD/NOS, anxiety/panic disorder. I also have hypothyroidism for the past 15 years. I'm a non-practicing alcoholic and was addicted to high doses of Benzodiazepines. I've had many types of meds from Haldol to Prozac. I mostly get the side-effects which cause me to stop using them. I'm suicidal (not at the moment) and was in a coma for two weeks 7 years ago from force-feeding myself drugs.which left me with permanent neurological damage. My alcoholic adventures have left me with much physical damage from falls during blackouts. All told, many people have claimed it a miracle that I'm still alive.
My dx's are from a lifetime of abuse/neglect beginning as a baby. I'm afraid of people yet I know I need them. My ex-husband left me for another and took my children from me 7 years ago. My daughters are 13 & 15 and I haven't seen them in years. I started drinking after I was put on the street by my ex, and my girls were taken from me. I never knew despair could reach so deep.
I sometimes think my purpose in life is to see how much I can take...and survive. I know I'm strong because I'm still here.
I know this site is for the UK, but I'm in Europe and like this site because it's in english. Hope that's alright.
Anyway, this is my umpteenth try at an intro and hopefully I won't delete this one too.
It's good to meet you all and I find this site very helpful if for no other reason than it reminds me that my loneliness and isolation are not unique. I'm not alone.
 
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ms_P

ms_P

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Jul 21, 2008
Messages
3,067
Location
BeNeLux
I guess that was too much info and I'm sorry. Too bad the edit button is missing here now.:redface::cry:
 
Mitch

Mitch

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 15, 2008
Messages
52
Location
cardiff
No it wasn't too much info at all. & you are not alone.

This place is teaching me that.

Welcome to the MHF.


Peace x
 
Q

quality factor

Guest
welcome

:welcome: again!
Hope this site helps you. It's a good place to talk.
I feel you are making a step forward, no matter how small,
by joining us again. That's got to be good.:clap:
 
companion

companion

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Founding Member
Joined
Jul 30, 2008
Messages
124
Location
Manchester, UK
Hello ms_P

Its nice to meet you. Where are you from if I can ask?

Your introduction was not long at all. You should see some of what I write :LOL: on here. I hope that you find the forums as informative as I have. It is a very supportive and safe environment to share your thoughts and feelings. I have found that everyone is accepting and welcoming without making you feel like you have to contribute more, or not as much.

You have survived a lot from what you say: I admire your strength to do so. You say you were addicted to benzo's - does this mean you are no longer? If so, you have done amazingly well, because benzo's are amongst some of the hardest drugs to come off of.

Can you tell me what the "dx's borderline" and "NOS" are please? I apologise in advance for my naivety. Also, if I may ask...what kind of support network to you have in the physical world?

I hope that you are feeling a little more relaxed and if you need anything you have only to ask.

Take care Ms_P

Companion
 
D

Dollit

Guest
Not too much info and you know that this is a safe place because you've been here a while. Sometimes it just gets too much holding things in and it's a relief to say them.

And it doesn't matter where you are in the world as long as you're here.
 
ms_P

ms_P

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Jul 21, 2008
Messages
3,067
Location
BeNeLux
Thank you Mitch, Quality Factor, Companion, and Dollit. :flowers:
When I started writing that intro, it all poured out.....and you're right, this is the one place I shouldn't be afraid to let it.

Companion...I knew that if I wanted to get 'better', I had to start with getting sober. The Benzoes were really tough because you even get those here when you're de-toxing from alcohol so it was doubly tough. I'm very clean & sober now. I don't even think about the booze or pills much, unless of course I'm very stressed. A bit of self-denial is a wonderful thing. ;)
The "dx" is my abbreviation for diagnosis and Borderline is a personality disorder. The DD/NOS means Dissociative Disorder Not Otherwise Specified.
As for a network, I'm presently awaiting a new therapist. My last psychiatrist is on permanent sick leave. He was a great guy.
 
companion

companion

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Jul 30, 2008
Messages
124
Location
Manchester, UK
Hi Ms_P

Thanks for that. I thought DD was Dissociative Disorder, but was not sure of NOS, so I really appreciate your reply.

I have worked in a detoxification unit where they provide people who wish to detoxify from alcohol with chlodiazepoxide (Librium as it is better known). It is just as addictive as alcohol and is indeed a member of the benzodiazepine family.

I really admire your strength and courage for managing to challenge your addiction to benzos and alcohol. I know from my work at the detox unit that it is incredibly difficult to beat a single addiction, let alone two or more.

Anyway have said enough now :LOL:. Thanks again for your reply Ms_P.

Take care

Companion :tea:
 
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