Hello! Thanks for the welcome, I've had a lot of life for a 20 year old, 21 on Monday haha and think I've been suffering from some sort of depression or trauma for many years now but only recently becoming to accept and come to terms with something is wrong.
I've only ever been to the GP once, 2 years ago after being admitted to hospital for a panic attack. I lied to my GP how I really truly felt because i was scared of what would happen. Alot of things have happened in the years that I think have bought it to surface, for e.g. my younger brother who is 12 with autism got taken into care nearly 3 years ago and I've blamed myself ever since. I'm told its not my fault but I've made myself believe it was.
I have terrible nightmares about things that have already happened that terrify me and I'm scared of happening every day, I wake up in sweats and tears. I'm so paranoid, I think i know what everyone else is thinking of me and I worry to the point I have panic attacks. I have pains that are unexplained and I'm constantly worrying something bad is going to happen. I'm so teary I have outbursts of crying and I'm saying to myself i cant control this and I don't know why. There's so much more but I'm not even sure if all of this is a thing and maybe im just out of my mind.
I'm doing all this now due to a phone call with a family member yesterday, I got a kitten because i live by myself and thought it would help. However the anxiety ever since having him has made me in a constant panic and I didn't know why, then my auntie tells me 'its not the kitten, it's you, something isn't right and hasn't been for a while now, your blaming how you feel on everything else and whatever you can but are not realising I think you need help'. Then things started to make sense I guess, thanks for taking your time to read. I appreciate it.
to the forum. Talk to us and lets see if we can help in any way.
