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I'm new here and I'm desperate



New member
Feb 6, 2021
Hi there, nice to meet you all.
I'm a young adult and I'm now realizing that I may have something going on with my mental health. It is expensive to go to a psychologist so I was wondering if someone had a similar experience and/or childhood.

- Pretty distracted child. Full of energy. Goes around the place and gets lost quite easily. Loving and caring friend. Pretty emotional to the point of crying for little things. Had trouble focusing and would space out a lot. Diagnosed with severe depresion at the age of 10. Pretty decent grades at school: horrible at math and anything related to it but learned to write and read at a pretty young age. Pretty clumsy in general. Bad handwritting. Gets SUPER annoyed with sounds around me to the point of getting really mad and almost aggresive.
Important part: trouble understanding what people say sometimes. I literally know what they're saying. I understand the words. It just... doesn't click in my head sometimes?

Teenage years:
- Pretty much the same things from my childhood but with agoraphobia added. Really introverted and quiet. I started to come out of it around the age of 18. Pretty bad grades until I actually got over the agoraphobia, my grades were almost excellent after that. Kept a few friends from middle school and high school that used to talk to me a lot (important: I wasn't usually the one who started the conversation).

Young adulthood:
- Found career as an infant teacher, started studying. Graduated with flying colors. Made a few more friends. Travelled and worked abroad. Now the problems start to become more obvious:
- Time management skills are Horrible. Have a hard time prioritizing things.
- Can't be in ¨work mode¨ and ¨social mode¨ every day = I don't stay in touch with my friends because I am still in work mode after working all day. I lost friends because of this.
- I still have a hard time understanding directions and instructions. It happens in whatever language I'm talked to, even my mother tongue. People get super frustrated at me and I get so ashamed of myself.

So basically I feel like I have such a hard time understanding things (mostly directions and instructions that are really ¨obvious and easy¨), I get super distracted easily and it is harder than ever to focus now that I spend so much time at home. I feel like every day is a pile of tasks to do that I never get to finish.
It also feels like I have to prove to people that I am ¨smart¨ because I look and act like an airhead. My family members always assume I will not know something and will always try to teach me about it.
Then I don't have the energy or even the motivation to talk to people (every time I do it the conversation dies) and I've already lost so many friends.

What can I do...?
one light

one light

Well-known member
Aug 19, 2020
England - Up North
Just in case you don't get more replies, which I think you will - look up the power of the mind, this can help if you work at it... good luck...


Well-known member
Jul 31, 2020
Hi and welcome to the forum.
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