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I'm new and need help before I ruining everything

AimeèJo2014

AimeèJo2014

Active member
Joined
Feb 16, 2015
Messages
28
Hey I'm new to this whole forum thing but I really need some advice and no one seems to listen to me - my paranoia is really bad and I've been with my boyfriend for 2years now, but before him I was with my ex for 3 years and he cheated on me, now my paranoia is just getting worst in my current relationship that I'm pushing him away, I do accuse my boyfriend I admit that but whenever we get into an argument he will bring my paranoia into it, I do suffer from depression aswell so it is being affected by my paranoia, I don't want to lose my boyfriend over this, I would appreciate all the advice in the world if anyone could help me.
 
Last edited:
M

Mark101

Guest
Hi AmeeJo,

Welcome to the forum. I'm new too and the people on here are very understanding.

Can I ask if your BF gets angry when he blames your paranoia? I mean, getting agitated is normal if your partner's accusing you of something you haven't done, but if he's got an issue with your depression then maybe it's time to face a few truths...

Hugs to you.

Mark
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,531
Location
The West Country
Just wanted to welcome you to the forum. :hi:
I'm sorry I can't really give you much in the way of advice, i've never been in a proper relationship. x
 
AimeèJo2014

AimeèJo2014

Active member
Joined
Feb 16, 2015
Messages
28
Thankyou everyone for your support,
He hasn't got an issue with me being agitated but he doesn't understand why I get like it, there's days where I wake up and just cry cos my head gets very busy but he doesn't understand that either he just thinks I'm being cold and pushing him away but when we get into an argument he will bring my paranoia into the argument and it will hurt cos the closest person to me has hurt me but I love him and want to work it out I just don't understand how
 
AimeèJo2014

AimeèJo2014

Active member
Joined
Feb 16, 2015
Messages
28
He hasn't got an issue with me being agitated but he doesn't understand why I get like it, there's days where I wake up and just cry cos my head gets very busy but he doesn't understand that either he just thinks I'm being cold and pushing him away but when we get into an argument he will bring my paranoia into the argument and it will hurt cos the closest person to me has hurt me but I love him and want to work it out I just don't understand how
 
M

Mark101

Guest
That sounds good. He's not using your MH agaist you, he's just frusted as to the why of it.
If he loves you, and it sounds like your very close, then he needs to find out about it to help him understand. Don't hide it from him, seek his understanding - maybe get him a book on supporting someone with MH issues.

I hope one of the forum members here can suggest a good book that introduces partners/carers to the issue of MH.

ANYONE?

Mark
 
AimeèJo2014

AimeèJo2014

Active member
Joined
Feb 16, 2015
Messages
28
We are a close couple and he does a lot for me but it goes both ways I'd cook for him when he gets in from work but it feels like there's no appreciation there for me but I tell him all the time that I appreciate him, he gets frustrated with me cos I find it hard to talk to him cos he doesn't understand, I might get him a book and hopefully he reads it- thankyou so much for your advise :)
 
maybe.shes.a.wildflower

maybe.shes.a.wildflower

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Nov 25, 2014
Messages
4,861
For me I struggle to find the right words to explain to my bf how it feels, i wish for a day he could feel what its like, the worrys the business the need for structure. Hes had a perfect upbringing, lovely parents and no mh issues. Like you i feel unappreciated but i think depression can make it worse. I can only sympathise sorry as im so detached from my bf now and i just exist in a house with him for the sake of my son.
Have you tried browseing the website rather than the forum for spme advice for him? Good luck x
 
AimeèJo2014

AimeèJo2014

Active member
Joined
Feb 16, 2015
Messages
28
I've tried everything but it's like he doesn't want to listen or understand what I'm going through but I know he doesn't mean to be that way it's just him, he's had a hard upbringing and had to grow up faster then what he should of so doesn't really show his emotion or tell me he loves me all the time but he now knows that sometimes I feel like he doesn't love me and I don't feel like he wants to live with me anymore let alone be with me which he says his Rediculous it's just so hard trying to tell someone how you feel without wanting to feel like an attention seeker x
 
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