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    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

I'm just struggling

B

Benjamin Button

New member
Joined
Aug 21, 2020
Messages
1
Location
North Carolina
This is my first time actively seeking out help so this is new to me. I just want a place where I can actually open up and don't feel pressured to put on a happy face. I know that people here probably have worse problems than I do, and I don't intend in any way to devalue other people's personal struggles here, but I just hate feeling so alone.

I'm currently in school doing online classes and I just lose motivation the longer I sit there. I'm stuck in a really damaging cycle right now. I start off trying all these new strategies that are going to save me, but then I end up slowly quitting them and make up some excuse why I can't do it. I hate myself because I know that I can do it, but it's so much easier to put the blame on something else. After a while, I start looking up new strategies and start the cycle again. My grades slip and I hate myself even more because I know it's my own fault. I hate that I can hit a minor bump and I just lose all confidence in myself and fall further into the self-loathing.

I look at myself and I just see a failure already, I have this idea stuck in my head that I know I'm going to fail in life, so why try? I see myself in 20 years slowly dying in some desk job. I had a group of friends for a while that really helped me but slowly I cut myself off from each one of them and I'm too scared to try again. I know all of the issues I have could be solved if I just could gather some courage and ask for help, but I just can't get myself to do it.

My parents are always pushing me to do better and have really high expectations of me. I'm too scared to ask them for help when I need it because I guess I don't want them to think less of me. Everything I've achieved feels empty because I feel like it wasn't my efforts that got me there, it was theirs. I just want so badly to accomplish something unique and meaningful for myself.

I feel like I'm on a sinking island and I've burned all my bridges. Thank you for taking the time to listen to me vent.
 
T

ThereIsNoExitHere

New member
Joined
Aug 21, 2020
Messages
1
Location
Sacramento, CA, USA
I know this is probably the hard thing to hear, because you say you're scared, but I think the only way to start the process of breaking the cycle is to reach out to somebody you've distanced from and tell them the truth. Maybe it'll take more than once. But somebody has to know who isn't you.

Maybe even tell your parents. Tell somebody. Don't suffer alone. You told us, right? You have practice. This is my first post too, and I hope it's positive enough to encourage you to reach out to somebody.
 
P

Prycejosh1987

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2020
Messages
619
Location
UK
Although studies do not guarantee success in life, they play a big part in your success. Study hard and you will get a career with more pay, study less and fail your GCSES you will get a job, that does not pay so well. You might be able to get a good job, with exceptional pay but that is hard work to achieve. The greater the blessing, the greater the sacrifice.
 
S

saha

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 3, 2020
Messages
61
Location
India
This is my first time actively seeking out help so this is new to me. I just want a place where I can actually open up and don't feel pressured to put on a happy face. I know that people here probably have worse problems than I do, and I don't intend in any way to devalue other people's personal struggles here, but I just hate feeling so alone.

I'm currently in school doing online classes and I just lose motivation the longer I sit there. I'm stuck in a really damaging cycle right now. I start off trying all these new strategies that are going to save me, but then I end up slowly quitting them and make up some excuse why I can't do it. I hate myself because I know that I can do it, but it's so much easier to put the blame on something else. After a while, I start looking up new strategies and start the cycle again. My grades slip and I hate myself even more because I know it's my own fault. I hate that I can hit a minor bump and I just lose all confidence in myself and fall further into the self-loathing.

I look at myself and I just see a failure already, I have this idea stuck in my head that I know I'm going to fail in life, so why try? I see myself in 20 years slowly dying in some desk job. I had a group of friends for a while that really helped me but slowly I cut myself off from each one of them and I'm too scared to try again. I know all of the issues I have could be solved if I just could gather some courage and ask for help, but I just can't get myself to do it.

My parents are always pushing me to do better and have really high expectations of me. I'm too scared to ask them for help when I need it because I guess I don't want them to think less of me. Everything I've achieved feels empty because I feel like it wasn't my efforts that got me there, it was theirs. I just want so badly to accomplish something unique and meaningful for myself.

I feel like I'm on a sinking island and I've burned all my bridges. Thank you for taking the time to listen to me vent.
Don't feel alone . Remember it's alright to feel low .It's absolutely normal . According to me your focus is shifted . You want to try new things but you can't continue and then you try new things and again you fail . So it's a pattern . To break this pattern you need to practice focus meditation . First you need to focus your thoughts , channel your energy into something . So practice focus meditation . After building your focus you will get good grades . Then you will feel good about yourself . You will gain your confidence again . TRY FOCUS MEDITATION .
At first it will be very difficult for you but try it no matter how many times you fail . First try it for 10 min in the morning .

 
reservoirwolf

reservoirwolf

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 31, 2020
Messages
52
Location
United States
Wow, I read this and felt a real kinship...I've been doing the same thing...taking online classes. It is soooo difficult to find the motivation to do the assignments sometimes, isn't it? The fear of failure is something that I've always struggled with as well. Of course, I don't know you well but I believe that you CAN do this. It's taken me longer than it should have to complete my degree but I should finally graduate at the end of this year. I think what's important is that we just try and push aside the expectations of others (whether it's parents or whoever) and just focus on the tasks at hand. Do it for yourself and not anyone else. I would also say: don't be afraid to tell your parents that you're having a hard time with things. As a parent, I can honestly say, I'd much rather know the truth from my kiddos that find out later that they were struggling alone and needed my support but felt as if they were a burden. I guarantee that you're parents won't feel that way and that they will want to help you if you're honest with them about how you're feeling. I understand the struggles but please know that you aren't alone and I'm here if you ever need/want to talk. Take care!
 
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