I'm jealous of my brother

G

George10111

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2017
Messages
277
#1
I don't know what to do. My brother's out of state and has been gone for a year. He took up running. Here's why its hard for me. I'm a runner at heart. I've been running for ten years. I have sacrificed hours, days, and time with friends and family to train for these certain goals. I have poured sweat, blood and tears; yes blood and tears into this sport and hobby. Its been the one thing that I'm remotely good at, and that people actually recognize me by. My brother has been running for only 4-6 months and has already brushed past all my personal best times that I worked so hard for, for ten years, getting 3-5th place out of hundreds of people in a race, etc. Its been really hard to want to talk to him because 1, we haven't seen each other in a long time, and 2, he thinks I'll be happy for him but frankly I am not. I'm happy for him finding love in this sport and I love him, he's my best friend but I can't help but feel shattered. As a result I feel like a terrible person. I don't tell anyone in my family how I feel about this. Part of me feels humiliated, that I worked so hard and people that I know recognized that and now all my hard work is being completely overshadowed. I'm not angry at him but I feel so discouraged and just don't know what to do.

Edit: This is very hard for me to come out and confess this. I can't just go on feeling like this or avoid talking to him. Has anyone else had something similar?
 
littlemachines

littlemachines

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Joined
Mar 28, 2019
Messages
48
Location
USA
#2
honestly i do relate to this in a way; it's similar to how i feel about my sister and writing. that is, i started writing at a young age and have been working very hard at it for years, studied it in college, etc. but i kind of burned out after i graduated. i still write but haven't had much success with it and have become pretty insecure about my work. my sister took up writing in college and has won awards, has had her work performed numerous times (she writes plays), and recently got into grad school for writing. when she got the news about grad school she thanked me for inspiring her to start writing which of course was very sweet, but it also made me feel horribly guilty because....well, like you, i'm jealous. i realize that she has also worked very hard to get where she is, but i can't help but feel like i am failing in comparison to her. i've put so much heart and effort into my work but feel like i'm never going to receive much recognition for it and that the kind of things i enjoy writing are generally frowned upon or seen as unimportant. it makes me feel like a terrible person sometimes because obviously i love my sister, but i also feel like we have this weirdly distant relationship where we barely talk to each other, and where she's always outshone me. i don't want to have these feelings of envy but it's hard not to sometimes. i don't have advice necessarily, but just wanted to tell you you're not the only one who has felt these things.
 
G

George10111

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2017
Messages
277
#3
honestly i do relate to this in a way; it's similar to how i feel about my sister and writing. that is, i started writing at a young age and have been working very hard at it for years, studied it in college, etc. but i kind of burned out after i graduated. i still write but haven't had much success with it and have become pretty insecure about my work. my sister took up writing in college and has won awards, has had her work performed numerous times (she writes plays), and recently got into grad school for writing. when she got the news about grad school she thanked me for inspiring her to start writing which of course was very sweet, but it also made me feel horribly guilty because....well, like you, i'm jealous. i realize that she has also worked very hard to get where she is, but i can't help but feel like i am failing in comparison to her. i've put so much heart and effort into my work but feel like i'm never going to receive much recognition for it and that the kind of things i enjoy writing are generally frowned upon or seen as unimportant. it makes me feel like a terrible person sometimes because obviously i love my sister, but i also feel like we have this weirdly distant relationship where we barely talk to each other, and where she's always outshone me. i don't want to have these feelings of envy but it's hard not to sometimes. i don't have advice necessarily, but just wanted to tell you you're not the only one who has felt these things.
Thank you. Sorry I'm late getting back. I've been very busy. Have a great day :)
 

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