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I'm in uncharted water! I Don't know how to help my son.

J

jai5252

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Jai52
Hello I'm new, and want to learn about living with someone with schizophrenia.

I don't know how to start BC my story is long and it also just happened. Here goes

March 22, 2021 My 14 year old Daughter called me hysterical, her brother and her got in a fight, she she locked him out of the house because he was getting so out of control. Like most siblings they did have there fights. This was different. She went on to tell me that he was going crazy outside, he was going down the street pulling mailboxes of there posts, then he started to smash his fathers truck windows in. First he used his fist to smash the first window, then he got a crobar and began to smash up the rest of the truck. I told her to call her dad at work, and grandparents, that lived close by. I told her that someone in the neighbor hood has probably called the police. I live 45 min away and I was out to dinner for my B-DAY. Anyway the police showed up. The grandparents told the police that they were going to take my son to there house. My son said he would meet them down the street wanted to cool off. Well they went down the street to pick him up he was gone. My son is a honor role student going on 2 years, he had good reports from his teachers. Also the police saw that he was never in trouble and they were concerned, about his behavior, so recommended that he go to the hospital. The police found my son at the mall. He took a bike from someone's house and rode up the mall. Thats where they picked him up in the mall with no shirt or shoes on. The police took him to the hospital. On the way to the hospital my son was telling the police that he is a famous rapper and was asking them if they wanted to work for him. When they got him to the hospital when they tried to examine he started throwing chairs turning over the hospital bed, harming himself telling everyone that he's going to sue them all, he has a lot of money he's a rapper ect, ect. The father called begging me to come out that night. At that time he didn't tell me about the famous rapper stuff, he just needed me to get out there, they cant leave a miner in the ER alone, and it needed to be a parent. It was late at night I told him I would have my dad drive me out there in the morning. I don't have a car at this time.
I got to the hospital my son was strapped down to the bed knocked out. The social worker told me he was hurting himself thats why he was in that state. She said he will need IN patient care in a mental hospital for minors, she set up a meeting with the psychiatrist for the next day.
Well the next day came his restraints were removed but no one came in for a psych eval. 3 days later we were still in the ER waiting for a transfer to a mental hospital still no psych eval. We were told that a lot of children and young adults were coming in with mental health issues and it was hard finding a opening at the 8 hospitals that took my insurance. This hospital did not have a psychiatric floor, and also didn't know how to take care of what was happening to my son.

For 6 days I watched my son turn into someone I didn't even know. Every morning when he woke up he would say good morning to everyone. Now I was woken up to "Wake up Bitch" I got to get out of here. He was teling the nurses he would buy them a car if they let him out. He said he was a Famous rapper, he was talking to one on "SNAP CHAT" he said he liked his stuff and he was flying out on his private Jet to get him so he needed to leave. He said he was coming on his B-Day. He had his psych review during that time, they had put him on the pediatrics floor, with a 24/7 person watching him. He would say terrible things to me, call me names even the look in his eyes had changed. He just didn't look like my son, act like my son. It was heart breaking, and with the nurses on that floor that didn't know a thing about mental illness and most the patients they worked with where newborns to small children I felt so alone. I never saw the social worker in charge of his case nothing.
DAY 6, We got a call from the social worker they said they had a bed open for my son at the mental hospital they were transferring him now at 8pm at night. My X had a lot of questions and so did I. They said we had to follow him to the hospital to sign him in and because of the covid-19 we would not be able to see him, only thru zoom, and maybe phone calls. The father asked if they could hold the bed till morning so he could talk to the social worker more about what they were going to do to him there. Again my son has had no previous mental health issues. No issues with the law ect. Well the next day came, t 9am in the morning no one showed = like we were told. Then 12 noon, 3p, ect. No one called or returned my calls. My X thought if he snapped that fast then he would snap back. He wanted to sign him out of the hospital, I was there with my son 24/7 he wasn't seeing what I saw, he needed IN PATIENT treatment. Then 6pm came, a psychiatrist that never spoke to my son came in. She tells the Father "You refusing in patient treatment for your son" she asks. He said said no we just wanted more information, there's no diagnosis, they want to send our son to a hospital an hour away we needed clarity, as to what they were doing to our son. I new in my heart that putting him in that hospital was the right choice. I was with him 24/7. The father was working he came at night and left after 20 mins because it was to difficult to see him like that. Anyway this psychiatrist didn't ask or evern look at my son. She said you can take him home. They said you can bring him back if you have any problems. I went off I said your making a big mistake if you let my son out and if something happens to him they will be responsible, and left the room. I begged my X not to take him out, I called the social worker that was supposed to be working his case begging her to call me, because she told me earlier that week if the father tried signing him out they would open a CPS case. After I begged pleated with my X and his family not to take him out, I lost. Even his 14 year old sister new there was something wrong with him. My X said he could stay at his parents until we can get him into an out patient program. I wasn't 24hrs before my son was picked up by the police, trying to go into his school on the weekend again with no shirt and a suit coat saying he has a meeting with his principal. I called the social worker left her a V/M telling her what happened. He was picked up 3 more times when the police took him back to that hospital April 6 and thats where he stayed until June 2nd. In the pediatric floor with a male babysitter and a guard. My son is built, almost 6ft. He never threatened anyone but himself. When he did get frustrated he would harm himself. The hospital then opened a CPS case. They never really looked to get him into a hospital. They wanted to send him up to a state mental facility. They thought that CPS would take custody so they would be able to that, and 2 days after the CPS case was closed they Kicked me out of the hospital and, 2 days later my X checked him out.

I got him into a Easter Seals Program they said he qualified for. This was an Out Patient program. So now here I sit confused about this program. What I was told about this program that he "qualified for" isn't what I thought it would be. I still feel that my son needs a higher level of care. This is where I'm at now. Alone, confused, and don't no where to turn, BC I feel we got burned by every place I called for help. This is my sons right for the correct mental health treatment. Not a privilege, I saw so many kids that were there waiting 2, 3, maybe 6 days. They wanted to send my son up north into a state funded institution for 3 to 6 months because they opened a CPS case. The only people harming my son was the Hospital and shame on them for trying to institutionalize my son. He's a child for god sake I'm so mad I don't want anyone to have to go thru what I'm going thru right now.

Anyway I tried to make it short and sweet, schizophrenia was the diagnosis that the Easter Seals psychiatrist gave him.
 
calypso

calypso

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:welcome: to the forum. Its heart breaking for you. The system seems broken where you are. I live in Britain and we have the same problem with the system not working as it should. I'm afraid the diagnosis will mean he will be on meds which might help him. I was placed on anti psychotics and they made a world of difference to me.

All is not lost, he is young and with the right care might make it out of this. Keep being there for him and see how it pans out. You sound like a fantastic mother and he is lucky to have you in his corner. Keep pleading with them to care properly for him.

I know what it is like to have a psychiatrist not even look at me and made a diagnosis and changed my meds. Its not acceptable. Have you got an advocacy service where you are? We have one and they took on my case for me and helped immensely. It might be worth looking into.
 
Z

Zoe1

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hi jai :welcome:

sounds like you might need some legal advice for this situation
and print off a copy of what you have written here if you can
so you can show it to the lawyer / advocate or what you can find


:grouphug:
 
J

jai5252

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A lawyer? I was thinking about contacting a lawyer everything was moving so fast I was calling every Mental Health organization, to help me help my son. I even called the CEO of the Hospital, only got his Admin, so he wasn't even aware. So where would a find an advocate?? I guess I'll work the net some more thanks for the help.
 
Z

Zoe1

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I don't know where you live so I don't know the advocates in your area

what I'm saying is there are legal issues involved
in terms of accountability
 
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