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I'm in shock.. need advice

R

ruby_slippers

Member
Founding Member
Joined
Mar 17, 2008
Messages
6
I have been offered the chance of a new start, i have got onto a course which i thought i really wanted a place on.

However i have just been informed that if i am to join this course then i have to be there 9.30am TOMORROW! I don't know if i can do it.. after years of trying to move on.. i wonder if a shock is just what i need, but after so long of never leaving the house, not even answering the phone and generally being incapable of anything and terrified of everything.. this whole thing seems ridiculous. I regard 9.30pm as the middle of the night ffs.

In the last 2 hours i have gone from dumb silence to hysterical laughter at the thought of this whole thing.. i have said i cant leave my animals, everyone will laugh at me and i dont know even what people wear these days. I dont know how to behave.. i dont even know who i am anymore. How will i get out of bed? how will i get there by myself??

But i really want to do this, and if i dont the my life will stay this way. I just dont know what to do.
 
intelgal

intelgal

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Mar 17, 2008
Messages
1,413
Location
Yorkshire
congrats on the course it all sounds excitin ! Not sure wht i wiuld do in your shoes but i think i would give it a go. if it does not work out at least you know you ve tried!

good luck

xxxx
 
Chasm

Chasm

Member
Joined
Jan 5, 2009
Messages
19
Location
Surrey, UK
Well done on getting on the course, but I understand yor sense of anxiety over attending. We are all different, but for me I have dealt with my problems by becoming almost a hermit. I don't socialise and keep myself to myself. Even trips down to the supermarket can be daunting at times.

As for sleep patterns, it is easy to drift into nocturnal living, being up till 5:00am them sleeping till 11 or 12. When I have an early appointment I find myself so tense the night before that I have trouble getting any sleep at all. If I stay up, then I am really tired when I go in. If I take a sleeping tab then I am distant and grogged out. Its a no win situation.

Is your course full-time? I don't think I could commit to anything full-time because the stress/anxiety would wear me down within days. I've been like this since school, and really do not see it ever changing. Whilst you obviously want to do this course, you have to decide whether you can handle the changes, and the structured day. It maybe that you will cope and your worries were unfounded, but if you cannot then you must decided what is best for your health and state of mind.

Just the thought of 8hours a day / 5 days a week makes me shake with fear. It is what they call the "norm", but to me it was something I could never cope with in the past,hard as I tried, and 35years later I realise I never will, and am not going to even try.

I think you should give it a go, but not at any cost. If after a while you find it impossible to cope then you must rethink your options and maybe try and get something part-time that fits in with your lifestyle, perhaps P/T afternoon or evening classes.

IMO people with MH problems are often expected to fit in with everyone else and their lifestyles. It is sometimes how recovery is judged. I feel for some this approach fails like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.

If you have been isolated for a while, it may help to join a MH support group to ease yourself back into handling social interactions. I did recently, and was shaking like a leaf and chain smoking as I walked to it. Even when I got there I was tense, anxious and nervous. I was able to talk about it to others who claimed they would never have known! Such is the way with anxiety disorders, we become great actors and keep it all to ourselves until we are forced to confront the issues.

I do wish you well for tomorrow, and hope that it goes well.
 
S

saffron

Guest
It mightjust be the kick in the right direction you have needed. You obviously wanted to do the course becasue you applied. When you appllied what did you think would honestly happen?

It might be for the best that it starts now than later, it give yoiu less time to worry, although it feels intense now.

In regards to cloths, wear something comfortable.

write down a plan of action for tomorrow, include every thing you need to do, this will include time to start getting ready, what you need to take, when to have breakfast, what to wear, what time to leave, how you will get there, who will be your first point of call.

this will give you a check list to follow and make it seem much less daunting,
and a plan to follow that will help you organise your day in manageable regime.

Be brave and take your time, everyone starting a new course is nervous, and you are about to embark in a huge change in your life, but that is not a negative thing it is a positive one. You could write down all the pros and cons and positive outcomes about doing this course.

By the way what is the course you are about to start.?

Best of luck and believe in yourself.

thinking of you
S
 
C

Claire

Member
Joined
Jan 11, 2009
Messages
11
I have been offered the chance of a new start, i have got onto a course which i thought i really wanted a place on.

However i have just been informed that if i am to join this course then i have to be there 9.30am TOMORROW! I don't know if i can do it.. after years of trying to move on.. i wonder if a shock is just what i need, but after so long of never leaving the house, not even answering the phone and generally being incapable of anything and terrified of everything.. this whole thing seems ridiculous. I regard 9.30pm as the middle of the night ffs.

In the last 2 hours i have gone from dumb silence to hysterical laughter at the thought of this whole thing.. i have said i cant leave my animals, everyone will laugh at me and i dont know even what people wear these days. I dont know how to behave.. i dont even know who i am anymore. How will i get out of bed? how will i get there by myself??

But i really want to do this, and if i dont the my life will stay this way. I just dont know what to do.
Hi I hope you managed to get there today. If you did, how was it?
Try not to worry too much. I know that that's easier said then done, but I find most of the worrying that I do was over things not worth worrying about at all. I bet nearly everyone else is a little nervous too about starting a new course.
If you didn't get there today, don't worry - go in as soon as you can though, this afternoon or tomorrow. They will understand. Have you told them you might need some support? I did this when I first went to college, and though I didn't really need it in the end, it was nice at the beginning to know if I needed anything that support was available.
Don't worry about what clothes to wear - just make yourself look presentable, unless this is a fashion course, I'm sure people are not going to be that interested in what you're wearing! And you say you don't know who you are, well maybe this will help you find out. As for how to behave, just try not to think about yourself too much, just try and be friendly, and watch how everyone else is. I find it helps to try and formulate opinions on others than be consumed about what anyone is thinking about me!
I hope you enjoy it. What kind of course is it? Let us know how it goes!
 
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