- Apr 14, 2019
- Tacoma Washington
Hi friend,This will perhaps be my last thread here as I feel like I've made too many already. I came to these forums looking for people who were able to understand what I'm going through and I found them, that's what matters the most even though my overall feelings of loneliness and worthlessness remain unchanged.
I wanted to chat more than anything, be able to vent out my frustrations and disappointments without judgement and if I got lucky, maybe actually bond with people as well. Unfortunately in the last 12 months or so I've seen more connections being broken than new ones being made. I have questioned myself on how good my social skills are for a long time but now I have no more doubts about it, they are definitely poor and my 0 messages from friends on any platform or media source show that pretty well.
I have all this time to myself yet I cannot come up with anything remotely good because at this point, its starting to feel like torture. There's no activity I'm able to enjoy while having no one to share it with, everything is boring and meaningless, I get no solitude, only crushing loneliness that I try surpressing to the best of my abilities but its hard, really hard. This isn't a life worth living...I'm not thinking about ending it though, what I do think about is how much better things could be if someone out there shown as much interest in having me around as I have done with several people before who end up making me feel guilty for that and like I was being a nuisance to them.
I failed to make true friendships in the real world and online, those who once were good friends of mine in the past have moved on and I couldn't replace them. I'm able to be positive as well, all I need is people showing signs of being interested in me and actually caring for what I say and or do, something that hasn't been happening in recent times.
Cevram I understand how your feeling. I’m sorry to hear you feel this way now.
I think you write well and your relatable to those of us that suffer same as you and feel the same way and can only understand this from feeling this way.
I am here now and so are you. Yes people leave, but I believe you will gain friends, caring and understanding. Some things take time. A lot of people do care. They’re just going thru stuff too.
What’s it like where you live? What do you like to do most of all if you could do anything what would that be?