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Im in a relationship with someone who has anxiety

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Bluecloud66

New member
Joined
Apr 29, 2019
Messages
4
Location
Colchester
Ive been in a relationship with my girlfriend for over a year now but she's recently had a bad spell of anxiety. Shes still going through it at this point. Its coming up to a week now and she hasnt wanted to see me. She means so much to me and it tears me up inside everytime this happens. Im alot more used to her anxiety now then I was before. First time it hit me like a ton of bricks. Id never experienced anything so confusing in all my life! It must be torture for her to go through and Im more aware of anxiety now more than ever. I dont pretend to understand it fully as I never will and Im sure she never will either. I just want to be there for her as much as possible. Shes done some bad things to me but I still love her. I want to fight through this with her every step of the way.
 
Midnight.Panda

Midnight.Panda

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 15, 2018
Messages
193
She's really lucky to have you <3 It can be really hard for people with anxiety to find someone who is understanding and just there for them. I hope you'll both be okay soon :hug:

P.S Don't forget to take care of yourself too!
 
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Bluecloud66

New member
Joined
Apr 29, 2019
Messages
4
Location
Colchester
Thank you M Panda :) I try to keep my mind occupied but I still worry. She's told me she's never had someone thats treated her right before. Shes always had people that treat her wrong. She isnt used to someone like me trying to form a good relationship. It feels alien to her and she doesnt believe she can have something great. She says she's always looking for ways to sabotage things only cus she thinks she's going to get hurt first. Its heart wrenching to hear! We have a evening out together in a couple of days and its been planned for 2 months now, Im not sure if she will come.
 
Midnight.Panda

Midnight.Panda

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 15, 2018
Messages
193
I think an important thing is to just let her know how much you love her and to give her space (though you're already doing that). As a person with anxiety, I know what she's going through. I always think that I don't deserve to have good people around me and I am scared of being abandoned. But once I have some time away from my loved ones, I come back and things are usually okay. From what it sounds like, she definitely loves you and thinks you're a great person. I am sure she'll get through this, no matter how long it might be. I can't imagine how hard this must be on you too.
I hope you'll be able to see her soon then <3
 
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Bluecloud66

New member
Joined
Apr 29, 2019
Messages
4
Location
Colchester
I agree, she needs her space when she is finding it hard. I hope youre doing well and not finding things difficult. Good news is we went to the theatre last night and we had such a great evening together. We both laughed alot. I didnt bring up anything about her anxiety as I thought it would ruin the evening, but I feel I need to talk to her more about her triggers as Im still a bit in the dark with them. Ive asked about them in the past but she's never given me a solid answer. I'd never push her for solutions as that isnt the way.
 
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gam9147

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 18, 2019
Messages
369
Location
Delaware, USA
Celebrate the good times and have some patience. Hopefully she is working on her anxiety to some degree? assuming it is affecting her life outside of her relationship with you? If she has social anxieties or relationship anxieties it could just be that part that is difficult for her. I know for me that is the difficult part.
 
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Bluecloud66

New member
Joined
Apr 29, 2019
Messages
4
Location
Colchester
I have bucket loads of patience and understanding. We definitely make the most of the good days as we never know when its going to be a bad patch. She has her methods to deal with anxiety, but it doesnt always help. She finds it hard to be in a relationship sometimes so Im so happy she wants to be with me.
 
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