I'm in a bad place

[Mad Chick]

We're going on holiday very soon and I'm in such a state. I'm so worried about the ash cloud stopping us from going that its making me sick with nerves, I just keep on going over and over in my head all the contingency plans I could put in motion to still get us away if the worst happens.
There's also been a plane crash this morning and I'm afraid of flying anyway so this is making me even worse. My stomach is in a constant knot af anxiety and I want to cry and scream.
I'm starting to hate my job. because I cant be as flexible as they would like me to be they are making me feel like I'm the "bad fairy" of the team. The manager keep on talking about it when I'm in earshot making sure I know how unhelpful she thinks I'm being.
Mostly I cant cope with changing my hours, I need the routine I'm in and to get home at 9.30 at night and still have to sort out all the things that will be waiting for me to do just wont work for me and I know I'll get so stressed that I wont be able to cope.
God I want to cry and scream and say I would be able to help if I wasnt such a freak and so stupid.

 

[DELATEXT]

not stupid

Hi, you're not stupid or a freak you're ill and suffering from severe anxiety by the sounds of it, best go see you're Doctor and try to explain how bad you're feeling especially about flying etc, the ash cloud is causing chaos as for your team leader they're not being very understanding do they know how anxious and tense you're feeling ?
can you speak to a manager at work to explain you're illness etc ??
I hope you get on holiday as planned, but please see your Doctor asap to get help...

 

[Mad Chick]

Hi Delatext,
Thanks for words of encouragement. I'm seeing GP at 5pm to get some Diazepam to help with the flight, and will tell him/her about anxiety too.
Its so bad now that I'm feeling so ill I don't know what to do with myself!!!
Can't tell husband just how bad it is cos he's got very little patience when it comes to that sort of thing!!
Work a little better, spoke to someone in HR who said if it goes on I might want to speak to union rep. Maybe, we'll see.
Just want to get on holiday, want to arrive safely in one piece and not crash on landing like in Tunisia or where ever it was. So terrified of that happening.
Thanks for listening to my ramblings.xxx

 

[Affective]

Hi Delatext,
Thanks for words of encouragement. I'm seeing GP at 5pm to get some Diazepam to help with the flight, and will tell him/her about anxiety too.

I had some Diazepam to help me cope with my fear of flying.

 

[DELATEXT]

holiday

enjoy your holiday and try to relax, it'll be hot, hot..